On The Road

GIDDYUP YOURE HOMEWARD BOUND

2009-05-12T08:11:00.000-07:00

This is it. Final day of our tour of duty!

Got to Terminal 1 and had to go through 3 security checks at Heathrow.
1. Normal security check with metal detector and x-ray
2. Had our photo taken before the duty free
3. Photo recall just before departure gate to make sure its still the same person

Annoying, but at least London is taking internal flight safety seriously!!!

The flight was 30 minutes long, we taxied on the runway for a longer length of time. Crazy!

Heather and me had to sit separately even though we both had spare seats next to us!!

Guess who was sitting infront of me - Eamonn Holmes, on his way to Manchester!!

Met Kev and Jill at arrivals, it was great to see them. Then off we went back to Leeds. Andy came over in the evening and we had a take away and got about 3/4 of the way through showing them our photos.

Its canny nice being back home, for now anyway, we'll see in a weeks time. I think our house has shrunk! Everything feels smaller. Maybe I've grown, all them burgers in the U.S. might have added a couple of inches to me height!!!

LOST IN QUEENS

2009-05-12T07:21:00.000-07:00

Woke up at 3:00am and left the hostel. Walked to the subway station on 44th street, passing bars and diners and coffee shops still going as if it were happy hour!!

Went down to the subway station and stood for a while and when no trains came we asked this woman when the E train was due. She replied with 'Of course no E train aint running boy!!' Then she proceeded to speak in numbers and colours to try and explain how to connect with the E train via about 4 different trains.

We somehow found our selves some where in the middle of Queens, in the black dark, wondering whether to venture out of the safety of the subway and flag down a cab to take us to the airport. Then help came in the form of a drunken, snaggled toothed, homeless woman. She talked at us for about 20 minutes about the pro's and con's of each of the different train lines we could catch to JFK. She was brilliant. She only had two bottom teeth in her whole mouth and they looked like they'd had a quarrel and were trying to get as far from each other as possible.

I talked to her for a while after getting a good enough route and she was cool man. She had bags of 'stuff' she'd collected and was just riding the subway to find more 'stuff'. She asked if I had a spare subway ticket to give her, which I didnt. Then she asked for a buscuit, I didnt have one of those either. Then she went on her way stopping at this shivvering young lad, who was on his way home from a night out and offered him a hoody she produced out of her bag of 'stuff'. How nice is that? I think she was an Angel!! All she has in this world is a bag of 'stuff' and she wanted to give some of it to a random lad who was in need of it and all she wanted was a buscuit. Not sure if he accepted it as our train came. I wish I'd had had a biscuit to give her - might carry one round with me from now on just in case!!

Caught 3 more trains and finally arrived at JFK. Only to find out from the guy on the desk that we were booked onto a flight to Heathrow in a weeks time and not today!!!!!!!!! Originally our return date was the 16th of May, which was a estimated date untill we fine tuned our plans, then we changed it to the 10th May. We got sent to another desk and a couple of minutes of mixed feeling later it was all sorted and we were checked on to the flight!!

There was a bird flying inside the departure gate, dont know how it got in there, hope it had to go through security like we did. Then the poor thing slammed into a glass wall right beside us with a dull thump and died instantly.

6 hour flight to London Heathrow. We got a good flight time 8:30am landing at 2:30pm (7:30pm British time) so hopefully not have any jet lag as we're not loosing any sleep really. Fingers crossed anyway!!!

Got to the travelodge at Terminal 5. Last leg of the journey tomorrow: London to Manchester, where we'll meet Kev and Jill who are going to take us back to Leeds and home sweet home!!!

NEW YORK TIMES

2009-05-12T06:06:00.000-07:00

Got up early and left the hostel. The hostel is run by this lovely Chinese fella who lives there with his wife and 6 year old kid. The communal shower is their shower with all their stuff in it and the kitchen is their kitchen that they use. Lovely place to stay, feels like your staying with friends in their own home, which I guess it is.

Went for breakfast in a diner round the corner from the hostel, scrambled eggs on toast and endless top ups of Quwwoffeey!!

Set off around Manhattan as soon as we'd finished breakfast, we've only got one day here as we're leaving very early tomorrow morning to fly home, so we're making the most of being here. Walked round the corner to Times Square then down Broadway to see the wedge shaped Flatiron building which looks class. Its Saturday, so there were a load of people out walking their little designer dogs in Madison Square Park. I dont get them daft little dogs, you know them ones that look like shaved rats! I bet its just a matter of time before we find out that they're carriers of the Bubonic Plague!!

Stopped to take a few photo's of the Empire State Building, didnt bother going up it as we went to the top on our honeymoon and remembered how long we queued inside.

Walked up 5th Avenue all the way to Central Park, diverting slightly to have a little look inside Grand Central Station. Had a Quwwoffeey there and watched the world go by for a bit, its a canny busy station! Saw the Crysler Building, which is a cool building!! We then walked up the rest of 5th Avenue and had a look in F.A.O Swartz the big toy shop near Central Park and got our Chloe her birthday present. Spent about an hour walking round Central Park. There was loads of people about, running, walking dogs and that! Then we stopped to watch the University team play softball on the playing fields. (now thats just rounders, at least with baseball they pitch the ball, but in soft ball they use a massive ball and throw it under arm)

Manhattan is stunning. Its such a cool city. Now I know I can only comment on what Ive seen and experienced in 5 days back in 2005 and 2 days this time around so I have no idea what it would be like to live or work in Manhattan and from what Ive read and heard its a pretty tough and hardened city to exist in. Something I read about New Yorkers said that ' The faces in New York look like they've played a game and lost'. But to spend time in New York is truely the best thing I can think of doing if you're in need of something to do! Flashing lights, city nights, busy streets, I LOVE NEW YORK!!!!

We went to Appleby's on Times Square for some scran, the same one we went to on honeymoon and had some ribs. Then the plan was to go to a few bars and head back for an earlyish night as we have to leave at 3:30am to catch the subway to JFK.

Found a bar on 9th avenue on the way back and stayed there all night as the music was quality. Mostly British guitar music: The Cribs, The Smiths, Lilly Allen, The Who, The Beatles they even played Maximo Park so I wasnt going anywhere. Had a great night in there.

AND NEW YORK CITY'S VERY PRETTY IN THE NIGHT TIME . . .

2009-05-09T13:25:00.000-07:00

Got up dead early to walk to union station to catch the Amtrak to New York.

Nowt much to report - 14 hours on a train!!!!!

Had to stop at the boarder for 2 hours. The customs officers got on the train and checked everything on board and only took off problem people.

It was canny comfortable like, at first I thought we were in first class but we weren't, the seats had enough room for all the chairs to lie down and for the feet rests to come up!

Passed Niagra falls again as we crossed the boarder.

Saw loads of fruit trees all in blossom.

Saw a Beever when we stopped once.

The train goes really slow and stops to let freight trains pass.

Thats about it for the train journey!!

Arrived into Pen station at 11pm, caught the subway to 42 nd street and walked up the subway steps to ground level. I'd forgotten how good this city is. The buildings are so big and look really bonny all lit up at night. I really love New York!! Walked a few blocks and checked into the hostel which is just off Times Square. Every street we walked down was proper buzzing with people even though it was midnight!!!

NIAGRA FALLS

2009-05-09T13:12:00.000-07:00

Woke up and had breakfast in the hostel of pancakes drenched in maple syrup. They love that stuff over here, they even put it on bacon and eggs - a bit too sickly in the morning for me!!!

We got picked up in a mini bus by the company who are taking us to Niagra falls. It took about an hour before the bus had stopped at all the pick up points, then we were off. The first stop, strangely, was a winery!?! We tasted 3 wines and then they tried to flogg us some expensive wine - no one bought any. I cant see how they expect backpackers to fork out 30 quid for a bottle of wine - wouldnt be suprised if the driver had shares in the winery!
Then we drove onto the falls.
The first thing we saw, which shocked me a bit, was a canny big town with massive hotels, casinos and a blackpool style pleasure beach right next to the falls. I'd imagined that we would drive out into the country side and the falls would just be there all solitary. Instead they've built a tourist attraction complex around it, and by attractions I mean Walzers, ghost trains, haunted houses, big wheels, candy floss and all that gash!!!!!

We had about 3 hours to walk around and see the falls. They are amazing like! The size is unbelievable and the volume of water that goes over them bends your head a little bit. We saw the horse shoe falls from the top and the American falls from the Canadian side then got on the Maid of the Mist boat that sails right up to the foot of the horseshoe falls and right inside the mist -it was an incredible sight seeing all that water coming over and landing only meters away, at one point you couldnt see anything as the mist was so thick.

Met back up with the bus and drove to Niagra on the lake for a look round, stopping to see the worlds largest natural whirlpool.

Got back to Toronto about 8pm and went for food in this pub just round the corner from the hostel. Had my first taste of catfish which was well nice!! On the way back I got a compliment of this camp fella waiting to go into this club 'Love yer tash buddy' I think thats what he said anyhow!!!

WHERE YOU COME FROM DO YOU PUT THE KETTLE ON?

2009-05-09T13:07:00.001-07:00

What a night in that hostel!!!

Firstly this French lad (there's loads of french here) who I'm assuming works for the hostel started cleaning the toilets right outside our room at 1am and had the gaul to sing whilst he did it!! Then a bunch of more ignorant French lads came in about 3am shouting their mouths off and banging on the walls - obviously they couldnt handle there grape juice or what ever they drink!! Then at 6am the straining man made an appearance, I cant be sure that he was French but lets assume he was since Im having a go at them. He was the strangest, he'd go to the toilet and make a really loud painfull straining noise then swear!! The word he used could have been describing what he had just done - Bizzarre!!

The French are temporarily off my Christmas card list!!!!

TORONTO

2009-05-06T17:58:00.000-07:00

Got out into Toronto with a few chores we had to do:
1. Go and pick up our train tickets for New York
2. Book a trip to Niagra falls
3. Get cash out (which is nearly impossible in Canada, there is literally only one bank that recognises Visa)
4. Buy a phone card - so we could phone our neice Chloe on her 3rd birthday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHLOE

Walked around Toronto for a couple of hours. Its pretty big but unfortunately not that big on being pretty. Alot of the buildings are concrete adn grey - a bit drab looking. Its got a canny atmosphere though, so I could imagine it being a canny place to work but not sure its the greatest place to visit!! So we caught a street car (tram) out of the city to a place called the beaches in the suburbs, which was pretty cool. We walked along the shore of Lake Ontario, which I thought was the Atlantic Ocean but was proved wrong when I licked it and it was fresh water!!
Saw these weird chocolate brown squirrels!!
Went for a coffee and a chill in a coffee shop then trammed it back into Toronto where we walked around for an hour or so and saw a statue or Churchill (Winston not that dog of the adverts)

Walked round the keyside in the evening and had a gander at the CN tower which is massive.

Off to Niagra falls the morra!!!!!

WEST TO EAST

2009-05-06T17:40:00.000-07:00

Left Vancouver the day for Toronto. Got up before the sun did, packed our bags up, (AGAIN!!! Not going to miss packing up me backpack everyday) and walked to the bus stop in the dark.

Uneventful flight to Toronto. It took 4 hours which suprised me, forgot how big America and Canada are. Theres also a 3 hour time difference between west and east coast.

Asked a fella in information the best was to get to downtown Toronto - $22 airport shuttle each or $50 taxi he said, then we managed to squeeze out of him that you could just buy a $2.75 transit ticket catch a bus then a subway then a street car (tram) on the same fare - so we did that!!

Got to the hostel late afternoon, not feeling to great at the moment - hoping its just the cat allergy still having a go but Heathers feeling the same - fingers crossed!

Went out to try and pick up our Amtrack tickets to New York from the station but it clsoed at 1pm. So went for some food in a pub near Union station and tried to kill our germs with a few pints and whiskey's.

*WARNING* - Rant coming on!!

Throughout America and Canada we have felt a bit ripped off when going out for food and drinks. The advertised prices are way above prices at home, probably 50% higher, but you can sort of deal with that since you know your'e in a major city so you can expect you food and drinks to cost a bit more. But then the bill comes and they have added on a GST (general service tax), an alcohol tax and another state tax - Now that really gets my goat!!
Secret, hidden, snidey little taxes they dont tell you about. So a $6 pint of beers turns into a $8.50 pint, which is totaly ridiculous! Then, THEN the waitress wants a 20% tip for bring you it or is it a tip for wearing a short skirt?!? - Im sure its your service we're tipping love not how long you can make your legs look!!! c'mon man !!!
Its not just the drinks its food as well, extra taxes are added on to the prices advertised on the menu and then dont forget the tip - its criminal man - makes my blood boil!!!

*RANT OWER*

I HEART VANCOUVER MORE

2009-05-06T17:36:00.000-07:00

Hired bike today. Rode them round Stanley park which was good to get a bit of exercise and burn off some burgers. We ate so many burgers in America, its just so much easier and cheaper to grab a burger plus they taste amazing and are massive over here!

Stanley park is quality, they've got bike lanes and roller blade lanes that go all over the park. We saw some original totem poles which was cool.

Spent the afternoon wandering round and taking in Vancouver. Had tea in this little cafe selling homemade soup, which did the job!!!

Up early the morn to catch a flight to Toronto, worked out we've got to catch two buses, first one at 5:45am. It'll be a shame leaving Vancouver as its been so good!!!

VANCOUVER

2009-05-06T08:36:00.000-07:00

Had our breakfast in a canny little cafe in Gastown, which is a cool trendy part of the city. Sat and read the sunday papers and had a few cups of tea and killed a bit of time as we cant check into our next hostel till 11.

Walked about 10 minutes to the next hostel which feels more like and English style B & B. Its quite small and is basically someones house that they rent rooms out. The couple live in the house. Its a lovely old house and we had the loft conversion which felt like a self contained flat. The only thing is that the house is full of cats!! 3 of them stared to molest our bags as soon as our backs were turned when checking in. There were 3 more in our bedroom when we first went in. I scared them off and managed to punt one of them as it went past. Im swallowing antihistamines like no ones buisiness as I dont want to be sniffing and wheezing going through the airport in a couple of days and get arrested for having swine flu!!

Spent the afternoon walking round Vancouver. It brilliant here, I love it, feels a bit like Seattle but better. Youve got every thing you would ever want from a city, massive buildings, a cool skyline, countryside, parks, amazing scenery.

Went over to Glenville island, on an aquabus, where all the artists hang out. It was canny good just chilling out there.

Spent the evening watching some DVDs in our little pretent flat. They've got about 1000 DVDs as they haven't got any cable channels.

Found out them mountains are not the Rockies but the Ocean or Coastal range!!!

LITERALLY SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE AND A BORDER CROSSING

2009-05-06T08:29:00.001-07:00

Tried to get an early night last night as we were getting up at stupid o'clock to catch the Greyhound. It didnt work, woke up at 2am and didnt sleep the rest of the night - gutted.
Filled up on the free breakfast and Heather nicked some muffins and biscuits and that for the coach ride.

Got to the Greyhound station at about 7:30am and waited till 9am till the bus arrived. A ticket doesn't guarentee you a seat on the bus, its first come first served. so we stood in line for the whole time!!

The bus stopped at the Boarder so we could get through passport control which took and age to get through. Got back on the bus and on to Vancouver. Arrived at Vancouver Greyhound mid afternoon and caight the sky train near to our hostel. Then headed out looking for some Candian dollars as about half a dozen cash points would accept our cards.

Saw a pharmacy called London Drugs!!!

There seems to be only only bank in Vancouver that would yeild us any money!!!

Had a canny night in this microbrewery pubwatching the ice hockey on the big screens they had and drinking the local ales. Had a canny view of some more of them black snow capped mountains.

I HEART SEATTLE

2009-05-06T08:18:00.001-07:00

Seattle is fantastic!!!

Had a free hot buffett breakfast, which was amazing! You could have had anything you wanted. Burgers, sausages, waffles, pancakes - the lot!!

Took the car back, we've driven 1732 miles since L.A. in two weeks. Then went for a walk round pioneer square and the old parts of Seattle, which was very cool. Felt like something out of Bugsy Malone!

Went to the aquarium and saw a massive Octopuss being fed. They've build a salmon ladder that winds around the building and are breeding salmon here in the hope that when they releaese them they will return to spawn in the aquarium and climb the ladder! That would be a sight to see!

Saw river and sea otters and some massive seals. I feel sorry a bit for seals, they look like they've been bred between a fish and a dog!!!

Then we walked round the piers and had fish and chips, they still call them fish and chips not fish and fries!! Had a canny view over the bay of some black snow capped mountains - wonder if they are the rockies!!

Had a look in this pub that had a brewery in the middle of it.

When we were walking round in the afternoon we saw a proper stand off between the cops and some bad guys. There were 8 police cars surrounding a truck, blocking off the whole road. All the rozzers had their guns out pointing at the truck. I thought we were witnessing the capture of Bin Laden for all the fire power they were brandishing!! Then this vagrant looking fella slowly steps out of the truck and got handcuffed, then his mate got floored and cuffed. It was like something out of Bad Boys II. It took 16 coppers and 8 police cars to arrest 2 old codgers. Never found out what they had done - bet it was just speeding or something!!!

SEATTLE

2009-05-06T08:13:00.000-07:00

Turned our heals to Portland and drove further north to Seattle. Arrived mid afternoon. Got a cheap deal in a quality inn right next to the space needle.

Walked downtown and had a nosey round Pike market which was canny good and round a bit of the town. Nearly every street has a Starbucks on it. The most we counted from a single standing position was 4 Starbucks in our field of view. There must be 1000's of them here!! Its ridiculous! I wonder how people decide which on to go to?

Walked around and found the Greyhound station and bought some tickets to take us across the Caniadian border and to Vancouver, as we're dropping the car off tomorrow.

Then it was Guinness O'Clock, found a canny bar with a very genourous happy hour on so we made the most of Seattles hospitality!!

GANGSTER TRIPPIN'

2009-05-03T19:07:00.000-07:00

The shouting from next door, we think, was coming from a drug dealer and his clients. Seriously this place is unreal. Heather woke up at 2am and didnt sleep the rest of the night due to people visiting our narcotic neighbour every 20 minutes throughout the night, strobing passed the gaps in our door. They played music all night, there was a constant chopping sound and there was a very heated argument outside our door between the drug barren and a woman. Then someone started crying from the drug den and then the sound of violent vomminting! You couldnt make this stuff up man!!!!!

We're supposed to stay hear for another night - Nuts to that!!!!! - At first light we're gone!!!!!!

The sun came up with no conclusions!! So we packed up, shoved our key card under the reception door, sacrificed the $40 we'd paid for tonights stay, no doubt old 40 stoner has already eaten them dollar notes by now anyway and then you couldn't see our heals for dust!!!!!!!

Drove around for a while and checked into a travelodge at 10am and went to sleep.

Afternoon came and we had a bit more of a look round Portland. I'm indecisive about Portland, I really wanted Portland to be a highlight of the U.S. I'd looked forward to seeing it so much as Ive a couple of friends who love the place. May be another visit one day is whats needed? or maybe I'd created an idea of Portland from other peoples possitivety and enthusiasm who knows!!

Funny how you quickly build up prejudices against a place after one experience, maybe the phrase 'first impressions count' is true? Well here's hoping that Portland will look more favourably on me second time round!

AND ME GUN GOES 'CLICK CLICK'

2009-05-03T18:43:00.000-07:00

Set off early and drove on through Redwood lined rally roads which then turned in to Alpine country roads with weird steaming trees. It was like the trees were making clouds and slowly letting them rise out of the forrests to the sky! Beautiful drive!

Arrived in Portland mid afternoon and found the motel that we'd booked and that when things turned a bit surreal!!

The motel was about 2 miles from downtown Portland and I wouldn't be exagerating if I described it as a gang-land ghetto griefhole!! It was the most scared Ive been in all my life. It was in a neighbourhood, that the 40 stone owner and the LL Cool J cleaner told us not to walk down all but 1 single street that surrounded the motel otherwise we'd be caught up in gang affairs and not to be outside after dark - great!!

We're booked in da hood for two nights as well - gutted as we'd heard loads of great things about Portland.

LL Cool J showed us to our room and rambled on about gang violence and about how he grew up on the street in stereotypical gangster gutter chat. LL gave us some towels with suspicious brown stains on them!! The room is filthy aswell, with a carpet of multicoloured hairs in the bath and on the floor. But the crowning feature of the room is that there is a half inch gap around the door frame that leads straight to outside. Just enough room for a beady eye and the cold steel barrel of some hommies piece!!!!

Now I admit that sometimes Im prone to exaggerating but this time Im not. Ask Heather. It was so ridiculous I kept expecting Hommie Beadle to pop out with a stuck on goatee beard and a microphone disguised as a semi automatic weapon and say it was all a prank!!!

We locked our bags to the only thing that was bolted down which turned out to be the furry toilet and went to ask how to get into town so that our jugulars stayed in tact. The 40 stone woman said she used to walk in to town when she was younger - yeah right!! she hasnt walked anywhere!! Ever!!! She may have laid on her back and had someone roll her into town but never physically walked. LL Cool J told us how to avoid the gangs and which bus to get and what hand signals would get us through certain check points!!! So off we went out into Gang Land!!!

We had to walk about 15 minutes before reaching the tram (or trolley in gangster) after that Portland is really nice but before that it was terrifying - run down, derelict buildings, young lads hanging about starring - not good!

The centre of Portland is cool man, its got a bit of a punky atmosphere. A million miles away from the Gangster Paradise where we'll be sleeping for the next two nights!!

Spent a few hours in town then before the sun went down we headed to the motel. Picked up some booze en route to make sure we slept. Watched a bit of tele, got our selves drunk enough to block out the screams in the street and the shouting coming from next door!!!

NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

2009-05-03T18:34:00.000-07:00

Set off from San Francisco heading north to Portland, Oregon, 710 miles away. We're giving ourselves 2 days to get there.

Crossed the Golden Gate Bridge , which was class, then headed north on the smaller 101 in favour of going through the Redwood National Park and to pass more of the California coast. It was a canny drive up that road, we passed the rugged west coast and snaked through alpine and Redwood groves. The Redwoods are freakishly big, like something out of Jurassic Park. Also this is Big Foot country, there has been over 50 sightings of him in these forrests, We didnt see him but we did see a not so brazon racoon - it was dead by the side of the road and its black and white stripes had started to fade - must have heard Shearer was in charge of Newcastle!!!!

Pulled over in the Redwood Park which the road winds through and saw a tree, whose trunk was 22 foot wide!!!!

Drove 360 miles today and reached Crescent City, a small town with nothing but motels in it, 100's of them. So we had no probblem finding somewhere to sleep. About half way to Portland. We'll cross over into Oregon first thing tomorrow. Another 350 miles to Portland!

BATTER UP

2009-05-03T18:23:00.001-07:00

Had a lie in and caught the free breakfast again and signed up for $5 dinner. Caught a train out of San Francisco in to Oakland. Got off at the Oakland A's collesuem stadium and followed the crowd to the ticket office to get some baseball tickets.

We got some really cheap tickets in the bleachers which were canny good seats. We went into the ground, got bag searched, then a military style ticket check, then a steward woman said something about chewing gum. SO I offered her some, trying to wind her up, as I thought she was telling me to get rid of mine but she was actually asking if she could have some, so I gave her some and asked her how to get to the bleachers. When she found out it was our first baseball game and that we were from Eeeeennglaaaaaaannnd!! She got dead excited and bullied this chap into giving up all this Oakland Athletic merchandise!!

We found some seats facing the batter. The pitch was smaller than I thought it would have been so we were quite close to the players. Before the game started everyone stood for the national anthem and put there caps on their hearts and belted it out with tears in their eyes. It was little league day so there were loads of hyper kids that got in free so the park was pretty full - canny little atmosphere!! It was a great afternoon, the sun was shining, the crowd were well up for it and I didnt have the foggiest clue what was going on! The game lasted about 3 hours and between the two of us we sort of worked out what the rules were! I'd definately go again even though no one hit the ball out of the park!

Caught the BART back in to San Francisco late afternoon and headed back for our $5 food which was amazing: Pork loin with loads of veg and loads of salad - Bargain - just hope to pig didnt having the sniffles before it was killed!!!!

FAT SAMS DISCO

2009-05-03T18:07:00.000-07:00

Went over to the Adalaide again for a free breakfast. Its really good for being free, as many bagals and as much toast as you like. Fills you up anyway and keeps you going till the afternoon.

Did our little trick of finding a bus route that goes round most of the city and stayed on most of the way round so we got to see a lot of the city in about an hour. Got off off near to the Golden Gate Bridge as we could and then walked through Crissy fields to the Bridge. We had an amazingly clear day, even if it was windy and freezing cold. So we got great views of the Bridge. It looks class like, its definately in the top 3 of my world bridge league tables.

It was chocka round the bridge with people having BBQ's in the parks and people playing on the beaches or jogging or bike riding. Canny little atmosphere round there!!

Ended up catching the wrong bus back into town and goodness knows where we ended up, but managed to find a train that took us back into town.

Went for a few drinks in this Irish bar where they had a band on, they were class! Just did covers but got everyone up!!! There was this woman about 40 years old dressed in white jeans and a white top who pimped her self for pints of Guiness! She'd dance and flirt with some old fat mand then get him to buy her a pint then go off with another greasy looking fella and get another pint!! Heather found her well annoying and kept refering to her as the Tart in White. She'd have vexed me aswell if she hadn't been so successful, she got bought pint after pint of Guiness. For a second I thought of giving it a go myself just for the pure volume of pintage she was getting - fair play. Then there was the 80's throw-back couple, they were class, they were middle aged and still dressed like they probably did back in the day. He was in a baggy black polo neck top and an over sized double breasted gret suit and Heather kept saying he looked like the cat who'd got the cream as he was so pleased with his dancing skills when A/C D/C got played! Top night like!!!

SAN FRANCISCO BAY PAST PIER 39. . .

2009-04-26T17:14:00.001-07:00

Got a free breakfast this morning from the hostel over the road from ours. Headed out in to town after putting our names down for a $5 dinner there tonight. Having to budget canny heavily now as we seem to be haemoraging dollars and cents in the U.S. Walked up to pier 33 to see about a trip to Alcatraz, managed to get on a trip for an hour later. Got the boat across to the rock and spent a good couple of hours there, doing the audio tour of the prison which was good. It must have been hell on earth being locked up there!!

Once back we had a wander round pier 39 which is full of tourist shops and all that jazz. There's a shop called Treasure Ireland that just sells Irsih related stuff!?! Didnt go in as our Irish needs were satisfied. Did get a good view of the Golden Gate Bridge from the pier though.

Spent the rest of the afternoon wandering round town. Found China town which was cool. The American Pyramid and all the steep hilly streets you see on the tele with cable cars going up and down.

San Francisco is a quality city. Feels a bit like New York with the massive tall buildings and everything arranged in a grid system. I wouldn't mind living here, you could could just walk around all day long and not get bored here.

Had our $5 dinner which was actually really good, there were loads of travellers young and old taking advantage of the cheap food!!!

IF YOU'RE GOING TO SAN FRANCISCO. . .

2009-04-26T17:08:00.000-07:00

Left Yosemite without seeing the Brazon Racoon, stopped at a grove to see some giant Sequoia's and they were giant. One of them had a tunnel carved through its trunk that could fit a horse and carriage through it - unbelievable.

Drove onto San Francisco following the sat nav which lost satellite connection about a mile away from the hostel but finally found it.

San Francisco is massive man. We did some much needed laundry and then went for dinner in a really American diner from the 50's.

Had a bit of a gander round the streets near the hostel. Its proper hilly here, every corner you turn seems to lead you up a hill regardless of the direction your coming from.

IF YOU GO DOWN TO THE WOODS TODAY. .

2009-04-26T16:58:00.001-07:00

Got up canny early again but on purpose this time as we are walking a canny long trail today. Going to climb Vernal and Nevada falls. Its only 7 miles long but a 2000 foot ascent. Got a bus to the starting point and a school fof kids got on the bus. These American kids are far too confident for my liking like!! Seriously this 12 year old girl comes up and is all ' Howdee neighbour! where you guys from?' Then starts cracking on to this old couple!

It took about 5 hours to climb to both falls. The size of these water falls are like nothing Ive ever seen before, makes you wonder where all the water comes from. The weirdest thing is the wind that comes off the falls from the force of the water - mental!

We got saoked to the bone from the mist off of Vernal falls. There was a perfect rainbow that permenantly sat in the bowl of the fall where the water fell.

Met an old American guy that started talking to us on our way down who was really friendly. I reckon the American's have to be the friendliest people we've come across. Most people we've been in contact with have been genuienly interested in us and really polite and really helpful.

On the shuttle bus back someone cried bear again but this time there was one. A black bear, that was actually brown, in the woods having a picnic!! Hows cools that!!

Saw a squirrel without a tail.

We had pizza in the evening and saw Jaimie off of Jaimie and his magic torch off of the eighties!! Well a kid that looked like him, got a photo to prove it.

Also heard Coyotes during the night. Aw Aw Awwwwwwwwwooooooooooooo

YOSEMITE

2009-04-26T16:48:00.000-07:00

Woke up at literally the crack of dawn. Its canny hard to sleep when the sun is up in these tents. Plus a woodpecker was going mental right outside so got up at 5:45am. Supprisingly so did half the camp. There are loads of school groups in our site and they are all proper hyperactive kids, running round, pretending to be Rambo or something, screaming at the top of there lungs. It must be a canny cool place to go for a school trip.

Walked some of the trails, saw mirror lake in the morning - we could only go so far up the trail as there was a rock slide in March that totally blocked the way.
In the afternoon we walked up to Yosemite falls, the highest falls in North America - there are tonnes of falls here at the moment because of the runoff from melting snow. The volume of water is incredible man, when it hits the ground it mists and foams up.

We've seen loads of squirrels and chipmonks but no bears or racoons yet. Heather says that when she came here when she was younger she saw a racoon and it was a brazon racoon swaggering round through the tents - so the hunts on for the Brazon Racoon!!.

Caught a bus to round to Yosemite village and had some food.

During the night a fella started shouting proper loud trying to scare a bear away. Shouting ' get lost bear, you're not welcome here, go away' There was no bears there he was just crying wolf or crying bear - Idiot - hope a bear gets him during the night!!

DO YOU KNOW THE WAY TO SAN JOSE?

2009-04-25T19:08:00.000-07:00

Off to Yosemite national park today for a few days. Drove a little out of the way so we could go via San Jose. I only wanted to go so I could say I'd been because of that song. I had to convince Heather taht the detour was worth it, dont think she's a big fan of Bacharach! The sat nav took us to the centre of San Jose which was a car park but I officially know the way to San Jose and thats all I wanted out of the 100 mile detour!!!!!!

Got back on the correct road to Yosemite. Drove on a 7 lane highway. 7 lanes man, on both sides on the road so that makes it 14 across, dont you think thats a bit excesive!! I guess we are near San Francisco but I bet they rarely use all 14 lanes!!

En route we saw what must have been the biggest lorries on earth. You know them big chunky cabs that look typically American, proper hardcore trucks. It was like being followed by Optimus Prime. I cant imagine an Eddy Stobbard having a go at Megatron like!!!

Got to the entrance to the Yosemite National Park and got loads of maps and that. You have to lock up all your food in Bear lockers as there are Black Bears here that come looking for food, Also they've got Mountain Lions. They saw if you're attacked by one to fight back! Imagine that? Fighting a blumming Mountain Lion?

Started seeing snow on the ground as we got higher into the park. Strange as its red hot, 85 degree F.

Yosemite Valley is amzing man, I reckon its the most amazing place on earth!! Drove passed El CApitan, Half Dome and Yosemite falls - all pretty spectacular!!

We're staying in a canvas tent for 3 nights in a campsite in Curry village set inbetween massive Redwoods - Its proper class, making me feel like a kid again, feels like proper camp America. And with the risk of being eaten by some wild aminal, it makes it pretty exciting to be here.

Went for some beers in Curry Village which was a mistake, as eventually I had to break the seal and was going for a wee every 1/2 a pint. The nearest toilet to the tent is a walked in the dark away. So with the Bears about I'm trying to fashion some kind of chamber pot!!!!!

SANTA CRUZ YOUR'E NOT THAT FARRRRRR

2009-04-25T18:58:00.000-07:00

Woke up top 95 degree F sunshine and blue skies. Went down to have a look at the beach to see what the crack was. There's a beautiful white sanded beach full of people playing volley ball and sunbathing, exactly what you'd expect from a surfing USA californian beach! We walked through the Boardwalk which is Santa Cruz's version of Blackpool pleasure beach only out of date.

We sat in some shade for a while and played spot redneck in the Boardwalk which turned into the 'Look at the size of him' game

Walked up Pacific Ave and had a wonder round. Its a gorgeous town centre. Had a few coffees, some food and just chilled out in Santa Cruz for the afternoon.

I did have to buy some $3 undies from the sale in Gap as my kegs are close to dissolving soon. Only brought 4 pairs with me and life on the raod has taken its toll on me duds. Tried them on back at the motel and they're massive man!! They're the right size only huge, nearly come down to me knees, proper Ghandi pants - I guess they'll have to do!!!

BIG SUR

2009-04-25T18:43:00.000-07:00

Said goodbye to Sue and Bill early on as we've got a canny drive up the west coast to Santa Cruz today. Was great to see Bill and Sue and spend some time with them, shame we could only have one evening!!

Set off on the 101 again from S. Barbara to Moro Bay then got on the #1 that took us along the cliff hugging roads of Big Sur. Loads of windy roads that follow the coast for about 100 mile. Having an automatic really helped as all you were left to do was speed up and slow down. You dont even have to thing about it. I bet a chimp could drive an automatic. Worked out that the car has got Sirius radio, DBA, so we've got over 200 radio stations with crystal clear reception plus BBC Radio 1 which is delayed to New York time so we're 3 hours out so no Moyles unless we get up at 3am!!!!!

Big Sur is an amazing stretch of coast and is stunning. Probably the best drive since we've been away. Had the Thrills playing on the stereo for the whole 100 mile. Quality man!!!
There was this weird black sea fret hanging about then as we climbed higher it turned to thick white fog and fully covered the sea and half way up the cliffs. We were above it so it felt like you were looking down on the clouds. Eventually it burned off and we got an amazing view of the Pacific!!!

Stopped to take a photo and this little Chipmonk came running over and I fed him a ham sandwich which he took straight out me hand and sat there whilst he eat the lot.

After leaving Big Sur we drove through Monteray and onto Santa Cruz.

Found our motel using the Sat Nav, which is brilliant although its runs about 5 seconds too slw so we've missed a couple of turn off's.

Got to Santa Cruz after dark so we got directions to some food from the sat nav and carried it in me pocket as we walked down the streets.

Went to Jack in the Box, a fast food chain that I hope comes over the England. I had 3 Yipee Ky-yay Mini Sirloin burgers!! We'd seen the advert on the tele and I became a little obsesed with it. In the advert they have these midgets riding mini sirloin horses rounding up mini sirloin cattle and it has a proper catchy mini sirloin song that got us to go and taste these mini sirloin burgers - Quality!!!

SANTA BARBARA

2009-04-25T18:34:00.000-07:00

Had an early breakfast in the million dollar bay cafe again! Strange thing happened right; got a missed call from an unknown number at 4am and then the same at 8am which I managed to answer with really bad reception. It was a guy from Stuff magazine thanking me for entering a competition back in december then it cut out and he never rang back - so I dont know if Ive won or what - gutted!!!

Drove out of L.A. via the Hollywood sign. Hollywood is a strange place but I like it a lot. Two days if plenty enough like. Drove up highway 101 to Santa Barbara, where we're staying with Heathers Aunty Sue and Uncle Bill. We met Sue for a soup lunch and a chat then she had to return to her Jury Duty in the afternoon. So we had a nosey round Santa Barbara. Its a lovely place Santa Barbara. It was red hot and clear blue skies.

In the evening we wnet to Bill and Sues house. We all went out for dinner in the evening and we were treated to an amazing meal. I had Mahi Mahi which was unbelievable and this hemp beer which was good. We had some good crack and good chat. Bill gave us some advice on which routes to take on the rest of our time in California. Top night!!

HURRAY FOR HOLLYWOOD

2009-04-25T18:24:00.001-07:00

Went for a $5 breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast in the cafe that they film Million dollor bay round the corner from our hostel. Then got on one of those sight seeing buses. It took us all round Hollywood. Saw Melrose ave, Rodeo drive, Paramount Pictures, Chateau Marmont, Viper Rooms (Jonny Depps night club where River Pheonix died) Whiskey a go-go, House of Blues, Sunset Blvd, the Hollywood sign, Capital records, tonnes of stuff man, this town is pretty cool!!

In the afternoon we went to see Observe and Report, Seth Rogans new film, in the Chinese theatre. Before we went in they were rolling out the red carpert at the front of the theatre. Looks like somethings occuring tonight!!!!!!

Film was class. Came out about 7:30pm and walked passed the red carpert. All the lights were on and the press were all lined up and people were arriving. Then Drew Barrymore pulls up outside in a big black car and the crowd and press go absolutely mental!! Its the premier of Grey Gardens. We were swiftky ushered to the other side of the road to watch from a distance then she runs across the road to see all the fans lined up. We were literally a couple of feet away from her - she was absolutely gorgeous man!!!! How cool is that!!!!!

Watch her doing interviews and that for about 1/2 hour. Also saw the other girl whose in it but didnt reckognise her, Jessica something!! After the crowd dispersed we saw a film crew going passed the Theatre and was told they were fiming for an episode of Entourage!!! What a mad town!!

Went for some Guiness in a bar on Hollywood Blvd right opposite the red carpert. Was hoping Drew would come in for a pint after her show!! Heather said I could ask her out if she did!!
She didn't!!!!

FLIGHT TO LOS ANGELES

2009-04-25T18:07:00.000-07:00

Got picked up by a bus @3:30 in the AM to take us to the airport. Slept on plane and watched bedtime stories - its alright!!

LAnded in L.A. in a bit of a daze. Got a bus to the car rental place and picked up our car. We got an all American chevy that I'm planning on driving to a levy when I find out what one is!!! Its canny nippy but its an automatic and Ive never really driven one before so me left leg is always looking for a clutch and finding a brake instead. Add that to the fact we're driving on the right hand side of the road in the middle of L.A. and we've got a problem. First road I drove on I went straight for the left hand lane.

Found our hostel which is just off Hollywood Blvd and smells of cats wee!! Dumped our stuff and went for a gander round Hollywood. We're litterally 1 minute away from the walk of fame and another minute from the Chinese theatre where they have red carpet premiers and all the hand and feet prints of the stars are set in cement - pretty cool that like!!!

Went for a McDonalds on Hollywood Blvd and noticed that they had a massive security guard in there and was fully armed with an automatic weapon!! A flippin gun in McDonalds!!! I wonder if its incase the HamBurgler turns up!!!!

Spent a couple of hours wandering round. Once dark the whole place lights up like a Christmas tree, every building has flashing neon lights that makes it feel more like a theme park rather than a town!! There's even a King Kong coming out of the roof of some news agents or other!!!!

I'll tell you something else for free, there's some strange folk in Hollywood!!!

There are the ranters who sit alone and constantly chunter to themselves and then scream at passers by about goodness knows what!!! There are the wannabee actors who dress up as the rich and famous and then walk the streets trying to get recognised. We saw Superman, Spiderman, Marolyn Monroe, Jack Sparrow, Chucky (played by an real life midget) Jesus, Gene Simons and endless others. Then there's the just plain crazy, mad as custard the lot of them, they walk around shouting and bothering people. You cant even work out what they want from you or even if they want anything at all!!

Another good thing here is that you dont seem to get I.D'd for alcohol here. Either they're not bothered or I'm starting to look over 40!!!!

LAST DAY IN HAWAII

2009-04-25T18:03:00.000-07:00

Had one last look round Honolul and packed up ready for the off tomorrow. Flying to the mainland. Went for some food and beers in the evening at the bar with 60 odd beers on tap. I had me first ever taste of Lobster. It was on a surf and turf burger like, but was beautiful!!

They make it pretty hard to buy alcohol here, they I.D. every one who looks under 40 so it mean having to take out your passports everywhere and unless your sitting at the bar you get I.D'd every pint - just slows things down man. Tonight we had to cane it as we've got a 3am rise in the morning so drinking tonight was medicinal!!!

THE SUN HAS GOT HIS HAT ON!!

2009-04-14T20:08:00.000-07:00

The sun has definately had his hat on these last couple of days, in fact I bet he's had to take it off as its so hot. Thats probably where he's been since we got here, sheltering from his own heat in doors somewhere!!

Spent the last couple of days on the beach. Its absolutely gorgeous here, sun, sea, surf, palm trees, white sandy beaches. Exactly how you imagine what Hawaii would look like. Even saw some Hula girls dancing and guys playing Ukulele's!!!!! Fantastic!!!!

I'll risk saying something a bit controversial here but I think I hate the beach!! (Surely not!!) Dont get me wrong, I do love the beach and love being on it but I hate sunbathing on a beach and I'll tell you for why!! You get there, lube up and it takes about 10 seconds for either the wind to blow or someone to walk passed you before you resemble an ice cream covered in 100's and 1000's. So you spend hours grating your skin away covered from head to arse crack to toe in sand. Plus people on the beach take sunbathing far too seriously man! They rotate themselves like bronze pigs on spits just to get an even tan!!! Insanity! Any tan I get is gone within a week out of the sun so whats the point in torturing yourself!! Whilst Im being honest Im not the biggest fan of the brine either - ever seen Jaws? Well I have!

Rant over!

Seriously though had a nice couple of days relaxing and chilling out. Perfect!!!!

PEARL HARBOUR

2009-04-14T19:47:00.000-07:00

We'd decided that we'd got to Pearl Harbour today since its been cloudy and rainy since we got here nearly. Woke up to bright blue skies and scorching sun!!!!

Caught a bus to Pearl Harbour about an hour away from Waikiki. Cued for a free ticket to the USS Arizona memorial which was for two hours later that day so we went for a look round the Harbour. Paid $10 to go aboard the USS Bowfin submarine which was pretty cool!!

Went for a real American hotdog while we waited and watched this fat American kid eat a massive bowl of nacho's like they were going out of fashion. He was reading a comic at the same time but every nacho took up his whole attention. He'd slam one into his massive gob then he couldn't believe his luck when he saw that he had some left. Then another nacho would fall victim to his greedy chops. He looked like this was the happiest moment in his whole life. We watched him until he'd finished the lot as he looked so happy. Then disaster struck. He'd eaten his last nacho without realising it and when he reached for his next mouthfull and saw they were all gone he looked proper upset and I thought he was going to cry - Hilarious!!!!!

Our time came to go to the memorial, we watched a documentry of the Japanese attack showing actual footage from 1941. It must have been terrible man!! Then we were taken by boat the the sunken USS Arizona, which lies beneith the water. Its was left submerged where it was as a memorial to the 900 souls still trapped inside the ship, I guess as a kind of grave.

The Nacho Kid was on our boat and he was looking utterly dejected. I think he was still remembering his last nacho moment rather than mourning the dead -God Bless him!!!

Strange thing. There was hardly any Japanese at Pearl Harbour. I'd thought they must be so many in Honolulu so they could visit Pearl Harbour but there was only a handfull there. They must just be here for the shops and the beaches. Guess I'll never find out? I wonder if for some reason they think that the Pearl Harbour campaign was successful and that they now occupy Hawaii?!? Who knows?!?!

LIONS AND TIGERS AND BEARS AND THAT, LIONS AND TIGERS AND BEARS

2009-04-14T19:40:00.000-07:00

Cloudy and rainy again today - sob sob!!!! Unless you like to shop a lot, there aint much to do in Honolulu on a cloudy day so we went to the zoo.

It was canny good like, saw some Tigers and Elephants and Monkeys and Giraffes. The best were the Hippos, you could go half underground and half above ground so you could see them swimming and coming up for air. They left the best till last, the Chimps were class! Shame it was raining as half of them stayed sheltered under a tree but a few of them were playing and that. They're nearly Human!!

SPACED OUT

2009-04-14T19:04:00.000-07:00

Cant remember too much about today, Jet lag has won!! Slept in till after midday as it was cloudy and rainy!! Had a look around the town and the shops. They are all designer shops, Macy's, Calvin Klein, Hugo Boss, Tiffany's all like that. Bought a rough guide for California to plan the last leg of our Tour of Duty!

One thing thats strange is that there seems to be a very high percentage of Japanese tourists here. I bet 8 out of 10 people you pass on the street are Japanese. I cant work out why there are so many! The shops? Pearl Harbour? Heather reckons its just because its probably the closest place to Japan for them to come for a holiday. A lot of the restaurants and shops are set up for the Japanese with Japanese signs and menu's. Weird man! Forgive and forget I guess!!!!!!

Watched a bit of cable TV - which actually makes my teeth hurt!! Its painful man! We have 34 channels and about 3 of them are watchable. The rest are constant loops of paid broadcasts, 1/2 hour long adverts for steak knives, 15 minute long adverts for prescription drugs, burger adverts, Judge Judy show, Judge David show, Judge who ever show (I've counted 6 different Judge someone shows all set in a court room sorting out petty $50 arguments between neighbours - pathetic) Dont get me started on the talk shows, the late show, the late late show, the late late late show, David Letterman, Jimmy Falon, Jimmy Kimmel, Jay Leno, dozens of them - all total Gash!!!!
One saving grace is that House seems to be revered as a small god over here and is on four times a day - quality!! After that there's The Simpsons, Family Guy, Friends and Tool Time to save American tele some face!!!

God Bless the BBC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please forgive any wayward, intolerable, gloomy things I may have said above. I dont know where I am, what day it is and why the sun is out at night time! Apologies!

GROUNDHOG DAY

2009-04-14T18:49:00.000-07:00

Re-living Tuesday 7th April today. I'm sure theres some weight in the 'crossing the date line again and turning back time' argument! One day!!

Cleared imigration and customs after a bag search. The fellas on the desk are proper aggressive.
'What are your intensions in the USA?' 'Where are you planning on going whilst in the USA?' ' What buisness do you have in the USA?' ' When are you leaving the USA?' ' Have you got anything you shouldnt have hidden inside your bottom?'

It automatically makes you defensive and then when they realise you're good, they transform into the nicest people youre ever likely to meet! 'Thats it buddy, you have a wonderful stay and welcome to the USA' - Bizzare!!

Got to the hotel at about 8am which was about 2am in me head, managed to get a couple of hours kip on the plane but we'll see where the Jet Lag takes us!!!
Suprisingly our room wasnt ready at 8am so we dumped our backpacks and went for a scout round Waikiki beach and Honolulu. The sun has got his hat on today! Its absolutley roasting with clear blue skies.
We got a tram taht does a loop of Honolulu to kill some time and get our barings. We realised that there were a few different loops and we'd got on the shopping mall route. So we saw all of Honolulu's shopping centres and car parks!!! Got our barings though and went to check into the hotel.
We got upgrade to a better room, something to do with the fact that we booked directly through the hotel! Anyway we've got a sea view and two, count them TWO balconies, one facing the beach and the other facing the town. Its a corner room so its massive, two double beds, cable TV and en suite - nice!

Jet Slags winning a bit - had to have a kip in the afternoon. Watched the build up to the Masters which is on this weekend. They're getting pretty excited about it - they've even got a whole channel called the golf channel and all they're talking about is the Masters - Good Times!!!

Forced ourselves to go for food and found a great way to stay awake - we got on the ale! Found a bar that has about 60 draught beers!! Even had Newcastle Brown!!!!

LEAVING NEW ZEALAND

2009-04-14T18:39:00.000-07:00

Last day in NZ today, off to drop the car off and catch a flight to Sydney then on to Honolulu. New Zealand has been awesome man!!! We drove 3878km in total. Four weeks isnt enough here, two months would have been perfect. We did see pretty much everything we wanted to see and have been blown away by this country.

Heather did get her skirt changed and we managed to drop the car off in time so the double yolker fullfilled its vow!!

Flight - Sydney - Two hours in airport - Flight to Honolulu

The time difference is weird, we've crossed the date line so have gone back in time a day.
Set off from Auckland at 9am on Tuesday then a 3 hr flight, 2 hr in airport, and a 9 hr flight and arrived at 7am on Tuesday - The same day!!!!! So we've arrived before we have even set off!

Wonder what would happen if you could go round the world and cross the date line again? Would you go back to Monday?? I'm sure I remember watching Superman turning back time by crossing the date line loads of times - Imagine that!!

Looking forward to Hawaii like, we've got a week in Honolulu and it'll be so good just to be in one place for more than two days. A bit of time to take stock, get a haircut and chill out in the sun!!!

AUCKLAND

2009-04-08T20:44:00.000-07:00

What a cool place Auckland is man!!!

Went for breakfast on the K Road, which feels a bit like Camdon, a bit rough but well cool. Had poached eggs on toast and I got a double yolker!!!!!! Never had a double yolker before. The fella said that meant I'd have a lucky day today!!!!

Had a mooch round K road and no word of a lie we saw a shop called 'LUCKY MART' - havin' that like!!!

Had a lucky walk round town, Heather found a skirt in one of the shops, which I guess was lucky as that meant no more skirt shopping!!!

We jumped on a bus that did a circuit of the city, so we just stayed on it and rode the bus all the way round - quick way to see the whole city!

Went up the sky tower and got the 360 degree view of the city - Lovely stuff!

Went back to the hostel to clear the car out and pack up all our gear as we're dropping the car off tomorra. Heathers button fell off her new skirt!! Whats going on? Its supposed to be a lucky day - I should have given her one of the lucky yolks! Went in to town for tea and the skirt shop was closed. Hopefully the luck will carry over to tomorrow and she'll be able to get it changed. We have to be at the airport at 10 am to drop the car off or face a late fine. Fingers and yolks crossed.

OFF TO AUCKLAND

2009-04-06T00:07:00.000-07:00

We said goodbye to Anya and the kids around lunch time and set off for Auckland. Our last long drive in New Zealand. Checked in late afternoon and had a looksee round the city. Auckland is a cool city man!! I love it here!! We walked round the quay side. I got to have a look at the moon through a massive telescope that these chaps had set up and the quayside. Went for food and then found a bar with an Irish fella playing guitar - he was pretty good!!!!!!!

WHAKATANE

2009-04-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

Had a good day today. Chilled out in the morning and watched saturday morning tele with Emily, Anya's eldest. Then Anya came back home from Andrews football game.

In the afternoon we went to Ohope beach where the kids surfed and we had a walk along the beach. Walked up the cliff with the kids and we found a dead blue penguin!!!

Its a lovely place Whakatane, dead layed back and chilled out. Anya says her boss, an optom, regularly blocks out an afternoon of tests to go golfing or hunting or to play squash!! Thats the way to live man!!!! I bet people here live a lot longer than back in Britain. The airs is fresher, the fruit and veg taste better, the pace of life is less hectic, the people are more active and happier. It makes Leeds look terrible .

Spent the evening chatting and watching DVD's, which was class, we've both missed just having a night in the house!!!!

ROTORUA - ANYA'S HOUSE

2009-04-05T23:54:00.000-07:00

We're off to visit Heather's mate Anya today, who now lives in Whakatane. We're staying for a couple of nights with her and her two kids.

Spent most of the day in Rotorua. The thing with Rotorua is that because of all the sulphur pools and volcanic steam coming out the ground, the whole place stinks of rotten eggs!!!!!
Spent a couple of hours watching about 40 old ladies play Crown green bowls in the government gardens. It was quality!!! They were all either call Ethel or Maud!!! The gardens are beautiful with old bath houses, croquet lawns, tennis courts and bowling greens, a stunning place with the floral bouquet of eggy farts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Drove to Whakatane to Anya's house, its a canny big bungalow with a double garage, which I was canny jelous of, Id love a single gargae never mind a doubler!!!!! Spent the evening chatting with Anya and the kids, had a blast on the play station. Showed them our photos so far, I felt sorry for Anya as there are thousands of them man, the kids lasted about 10 minutes!!!!!!!

ROTORUA

2009-04-05T23:43:00.000-07:00

Had a canny day today!!! Got up early and went to a volcanic area of Rotorua, there is a geyser called Lady Knox there that they set off each day at 10am. So we got seated and the fella poured soap powder into its cone and it took about 5 minutes for it to erupt!! The water and steam went about 20m high - crazy!!
Spent a couple of hours walking round the track which took us round all the geysers, sulphur lakes and that! The colours of the lakes and rocks were unbelievable man!!

After that we drove to Rainbow Springs where they look after Kiwi birds and release them in to the wild when they're big enough to fend off stoats and that!! We got to see a pair of eggs brought in by some volenteers. Then some newly hatched Kiwi's and three big un's in the nocturnal house. They were well cool, they're bigger than chickens and have long thin beaks and are quite agressive, which we were shocked at since everywhere you go here there are pictures or cartoons of fluffy cute kiwi's but in reality they're swines!!! But were canny cute like!!!

They had a wild life park here as well where you can walk around and see all sorts of native wild life. Best of all they've got massive trout: browns, blues, rainbows, american brook end even Tiger trout (cross between brown and brook) They were mint! The Rainbows have their own pool which can be accessed by the fish by a fish ladder, a small stream that they can swim up and down, which leads to the lake at Rotorua so they are free to come and go as they please. Brilliant!!!!

Had tea in the hostel kitchen. Pot Noodles and a bottle of the posh wine from the vinyard tour, the best wine to have with Pot Noodles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FISHING FOR MAORI TROUT

2009-04-05T23:31:00.000-07:00

Didnt sleep well as I was too excited about fishing! Got up and checked out early and set off for the Waitahanui river which feeds lake Taupo. Stopped at a different tackle shop for some different flies as the one's the chap gave me yesterday didnt fill me with much hope. The guy in the new tackle shop was much more helpful and said that river should be good sport. He did warn me that they will be loads of Maori's fishing at the mouth and to avoid them as they class that river as Maori land but said not to worry!!!!! On arrival at the car park near the river we saw a painted sign saying 'MAORI LAND KEEP OUT' so I set off, leaving Heather with the car, bricking me self. I started fishing near the carpark just incase I needed a quick get away!!!

First fisherman I saw was a massive Maori guy fishing up and down the river. Im totally cacking it now!! After about 1/2 hour of no luck the Maori fella comes towards me, I nearly die of fright. Then he smiles and says ' any luck?' We chatted for a while and he gave me some advice and a few flies and was the nicest guy ever!!!!! We both fished the same stretch for an hour or so and had a canny chat.

Fished a bit further inland for an hour or two. Crystal clear streams that didnt yeild any fish. In fact I couldnt even see any in the stream so I dont know why I stayed so long to fish it! So I went back to the mouth of the river and met me marra again, he hadnt caught owt either so made me feel a bit better for blanking!!!

Drove on to Rotorua after dropping me gear back off at the shop. Had a wander round Rotorua in the afternoon then went to a Belgiun bar for muscles and a Snitzel to consol me self after blanking!!!!!!

NAPIER - LAKE TAUPO

2009-04-05T23:24:00.000-07:00

Had breakfast in town and took some photos of the Art Deco buildings which are pretty spectacular. The whole town was re-built in that style after it was flattern by an earthquake not so long ago when it was a modern style of architeture.

Drove about 150km on a solitary road to Taupo, the trout capital of New Zealand. All over the town are statues, images and shrines to the mighty trout and rightly so. All the guide books say ' A trip to Taupo is not complete without fishing for trout' or ' Get out on the lake and catch a trout' It didnt take much to convince me. So I had a read and it recommends hiring a guide to take you out either on the lake or one of the rivers. For a guide it costs $300-500 which is about 100-175 quid for half a day. Forget that!!!!!! So I hired some gear from a fella in a tackle shop, got me licence and all the info I needed and planned me own day for tomorrow for less than 25 pund!!!! Thats more like it!!!!!

Went back to meet Heather at the hostel and showed her all me gear and told her me plans - I could tell she was facinated!!!

We cooked tea in the hostel kitchen and had a rare night in front of the tele, watched friends, neighbours, corry and a new episodes of house - great stuff!!!!!

WINE

2009-04-01T21:06:00.000-07:00

Didnt go fishing - Sams number had smudged in me sleep. Dont think I'd trust those two lads sober!!

At Midday we'd booked onto a winery tour. We visited 3 wineries and a cheesery which was proper mint. Saw all the Vinyards which are being harvested at the minute so all the vines are bursting with fruit. Saw the processing side of it which was canny interesting - pretty simple, possibly not as intricate as making beer. Best part was each place we visited we got to sample their wares.

I could get into wine drinking and tasting but there's too many inconsistancies in wine for me!! With beer you can taste a stout, a bitter, a wheat beer, a larger and tell the differnce between the type but then appreciated the differences between say, two bitters from different breweries. With wine there are too many different types and vinyards to understand!!! Two Savigon Blancs from differnt vinyards taste totally different to me but a savignon blanc and a chardonay could be the same wine. It probably my untrained taste buds like, but I'd like to get into it. Really enjoyed the day. There were a couple wine buffs, younger than us, in the group who were giving it ' I prefer Malbourogh Savignon Blancs over these Hawks bay Savvys' All I knew is that it tasted good and I guess thats all that matters really. I bet wine drinking would be more popular if people were less snobby about it and took it less seriously! At the end of the day its just a drink, there to be drunk and enjoyed.

Give me half a bottle of Blue Nun and we'll call it even!!!!!!!!

WELLINGTON - NAPIER

2009-04-01T20:51:00.000-07:00

Arrived mid afternoon in Napier and checked into Wally's hostel run by a fella from Darlington who looked like Steve McClaren and had a similar mental state as him. He was proper loco man, he just kept talking and seemed to know everything about everything. I kept expecting him to turn on a Dutch accent like McClaren did after being in Holland for a week talking to the British press. After an hour of listening to his ramblings he gave us the key.

Wandered round Napier, one of the largest Art Deco towns in the world, dead pretty!!

Went for a drink in the evening and turned into a pretty eventful night!!

Met a very drunk Kiwi guy in a bar who we got chatting to, who phoned his mate to come down. Had a good laugh with them two, Sam the drunk one, had a marker pen and liked to draw willy's of everything. At one point he came back from the toilet and said to me 'Ive drawn you a picture in there' It was a four foot willy drawn on one of the walls. The bar staff and bouncers were very tolerable of him as they didnt kick him out. It was a water soluable pen so they just kept wiping away his artwork off all the surfaces he could get his pen near. He was a good laugh like! He's big into fly fishing so we had plenty to talk about, His mate, Nathan, was a fishing guide and a hunter - he'd shot a deer that morning!!! We got talking to these Ozzy girls and the alds offered to take us all fishing the next morning. Sam in his drunken state txted his boss saying ' NOT COMIN IN TOMORROW TAKING THE ENGLISH FISHING' He wrote his number on my forearm which his marker then got it took off him by the bouncer.

Now the bouncer is another set of stories all together, he was the size of Hulk Hogan but had the face of some one who was bullied alot as a kid - he showed me a scar on his Bicep where he'd ripped it open punching someone!!

Higlight of the evening: Sam got his fly rod out of his Eute (which he planned to drive home even though he'd already lost his licence for drink driving) loaded the rod with line and was showing the girls how to cast in the middle of the road. Nathan then grabs the end of the line and said 'this is what a trout does' and then legged it full pelt down the road for about a block and a half with Sam trying to reel him in!!!! Proper nutters but well funny!!!!

WELLINGTON

2009-04-01T20:46:00.001-07:00

Had a $5 breakfast at an Irish bar which set us up for a good days walking round the city. Wandered round the shops for a bit, then walked and saw the parliment buildings. Round the harbour. Had a look at the Te Papa museum - where we saw a colosal squid on display. Wasnt taht colosal like. I was expecting the Kracken but it was about 3 meters. Caught the cable car up to the botanical gardens and university area. Wandered back down into the city. Stopped for about an hour to watch a cricket game. It was red hot, clear skys and it was class just sitting there watching the cricket.

Went for a few drinks and food at Wagamamas. At 8:30pm New Zealand had 'Earth Hour' where places were supposed to turn off their lights for an hour. Wagamamas didnt as we left but the pub we went to after did so we drank the night away in candle light!!!!!

FAREWELL SOUTH ISLAND

2009-04-01T20:40:00.000-07:00

Had a walk into town to book a hostel in Wellington for the next couple of nights. Turns out all the hostels are full for tonight!! We think its because The Kings of Leon are in town tonight. After about 8 knock backs we got our selves some where to saty, an ex halls of residence, Im thinking tiny beds and sinks to wee in!!!!!!

Drove the car onto the ferry, it took 3 hours, 1 hour through Marlborough sounds, 1 hour on choppy open sea and 1 hour into Wellington. Saw Dolphins swimming alongside the ferry as we left Marlborough sounds!!!

Drove off and into Wellington, found the halls, went for a walk round town, most places were closed by this time but still had a canny time wandering round the city. Wellington can definately call its self a city. Its pretty big!

Found a cool bar attatched to a brewery.

PICTON

2009-04-01T20:30:00.000-07:00

Nowt much to report on today. Just drove from Montueka to Picton where we'll get the ferry to the North Island tomorrow.

We had the choice of going a short distance on a yellow road (minor road) or a much longer distance on a red road (major road) We went for the short yellow road and regretted the decision all the way to Picton.

Always go Red!!! Always!!! When you buy tomatoes you buy red ones not yellow ones!! Same with peppers! You know where you stand with red stuff! A yellow traffic light, do I slow down or speed up. A red traffic light I stop, its safe, you can trust it!!! Always go with red roads, Dorothy chose a yellow road and look what happened with her, she ended up killing two women. If I fell down and cut me self and red stuff comes out, I'm happy in the knowledge my body is working and its just blood. If yellow stuff comes out either I've got a bad blood disease or I'm Ming the Mercyless (or was that green blood) See!!!! confusion already. Always go red!!!!!!!!!

The yellow road was an hour and a hlafs worth of consecutive hairpin bends, apart from making us feel a bit ill, it gave the feeling that you were skiing in a car and made me feel a bit reckless!!! Got there eventually and Picton was spinning!!!!!

Checked into Tombstone hostel, named after the graveyard it sits in!!!! The doors where coffin chaped and the keys had skulls on them. I hope I dont see any red stuff tonight!!

Seriously though, this is probably the best hostel we've stayed in, incredibly friendly, laid back, tele rooms, pool tables, spa's and not over busy. Quality!!!!

ABEL TASMAN KAYAKING

2009-04-01T20:21:00.000-07:00

Early start, got picked up by a Kiwi fella called Luke (who'd become the first reason I felt like a returning Jedi today) Got aboard a sea taxi (big speed boat) which took us to Onetooti beach in the north of the marine park. Got kitted out and shown how to drive the two man kayak's. They had peddals in the back seat that turned a rudder which made stearing alot easier.

Set off on the open sea to Tonga Island and got to go within 20meters of the fur seal colony. The massive Bull seals make the strangest noise (not unlike Chewbacca) A few seals swan upto our Kayak which was well good to see them that close up. we paddled for a couple of hours to Bark Bay where we left the kayaks and the two of us walked part of the Abel Tasman trek back to Torent bay. The path goes through the dense forest of Abel Tasman (exactly like the forest moon of Endor) Didnt see any Ewoks like but Im sure I heard a couple of them having a chat. Also some birds must have watched the films as one of them was doing a hellish R2D2 impression.

So that confirms it: I was on the forest moon of Endor with the Ewoks and R2D2 trying to Randez vous with a guy called Luke. Coincidence!!!????!!!! Thus I am a Jedi Knight!!

Met back with young Skywalker who took us back to our hostel. Quality day!!!!!!!

NELSON - MOTUEKA

2009-04-01T20:17:00.000-07:00

Hung over we checked out and drove back through Richmond and spend an hour there. Drove onto Motueka just outside Abel Tasman national park.

Hostels canny but there are loads of Argentianians here who are working picking fruit but who all seem to talk at the volume of jumbo jets. One lass, a great whale of a girl, did not close her mouth once, just jabbered away in Spanish, so loud the North Island could have heard her across the sea. When she had nothing left to say she banged out drum beats on the table and her thunderous thighs with her dustbin lids for hands. Man, she drove me round the bend!!!

Checked out the town, bought some food and cooked it in 'the kitchen of a thousand decibels'

Up early the morn for sea kayaking in the national park!!

NELSON AND THE MAGIC BUS

2009-04-01T20:09:00.000-07:00

Wandered round Nelson most of the day, taking it easy and chilling out. Booked a sea kayak trip in Abel Tasman.

Ended up back at the hostel late afternoon, went for fish and chips and then back to the Sprig and Fern to try and sample the rest of the beers!!

Back at the hostel we opened a bottle of wine and went to see what was occuring. Got chatting to these Canadians who were canny funny. Some one had left a pan boiling on the hob and after about 1/2 hour it boiled dry and filled the kitchen with smoke so we went to the magic bus in the garden. I think the idea is you go in there to chat instead of annoying the neighbours. They should call it the hash bus as there was a blue haze coming out of all the windows!!!!

Got talking to this Dutch girl and the Canadian said that we had similar accents and for some reason I said that we were related! "really?" he said and I put me arm around her and said 'yeah, she's my. . . '
The word sister was there on me tongue waiting to come out but what actually came out was
' Mam'
She didnt like that. Not one bit. She went mental!!!!!
Turns out she is my age - wupps!!! She must have had a canny tough paper round like, as she looked twice her age!! Canny night though!

GREYMOUTH - NELSON

2009-03-26T00:00:00.001-07:00

Set off from Greymouth early as it was Sunday and everywhere was closed!! Drove through more rainforest. Passed through Wakefield and Richmond untill we reached the northern shores of the ssouth island. The beaches are long and white with prominades running paralelle, made it look like sunset strip in LA, loads of joggers and roller bladers. Speedo and bikini's gallaw!!!!!

Arrived in Nelson which is a great town, canny big and has a good atmosphere to it.

We both had a love relationship with our hostel. It was dirty, noisy, too many people there to use any facilities and full of trendies who thought they were right on!!!!! I wouldnt have minded hitting a few of them from behind with a rather large stick!!!!!! But on the other side of the coin there were some canny folk and we had some decent crack with some Canadians and Americans and this English hippy who lived on a river boat!!!!!

Had a walk round Nelson and then back to chill out at the hostel. Sat round the pool as it was pretty warm. They've got a magic bus that sits in the garden to chat in!!!!

Found the best pub in the world, The Sprig and Fern, just down the road from the hostel. It was a TAsman brewery pub and had all there beers on tap. There was about 20 beers, stout, porters, brown ales, bitters, pale ales, wheat beers and they were proper nice beers as well!! Stayed there till they closed. Got free scones off of the bar maid for breakfast tomorrow!!!!!

FRANZ JOSEF GLACIER

2009-03-25T23:48:00.000-07:00

Chewbacka and her friend got up before the sun this morning to catch the Kiwi-bus, doesnt sound like fun by all accounts of it!!!!!!

We booked on a guided trek up F.Josef glacier today. We were out for about 5 hours and with about 2 1/2 hours on the ice. Walking up to it, passed the public barriers, it looks big but when you got up to the face of the thing its just incredible. Not only because its so so big but that it is there at all as at the face it was about 15 degrees c and in summer it gets to 30 degrees. The surrounding rainforest either side of the glacier gets 5 meters of rain a year, which I thought was a heck of a lot of precipitation but at the summit of the glacier it gets 50 meters. Obviously this all falls as snow and thats what feeds the glacier and ables it to exist so close to sea level and not to completely melt away in summer.

Our guide, Pick Axe John, reckons it moves about 2-4 meters a day, somedays it advances but mostly it retreats, which I thought was a lot but had to believe him as he's the one that goes up first thing each morning to carve out new steps as the glacier moves so much - its like its alive man, breathing its way up and down the valley.

We strapped on our crampons and climbed the ice, we did a big loop of the glacier. Back in the valley, from a distance, we saw we'd hardly climbed any height at all, its that big.

Back in the village we jumped in the car and drove to Greymouth. Got here canny late but managed to check in ok. Its called Noahs Ark, all the rooms are named after animals. We got Elephants, Ive never seen so many pictures and status of elephants all in one place - felt like I was in a stampeed!!!!

QUEENSTOWN - FRANZ JOSEF

2009-03-25T23:36:00.000-07:00

Longest and best drive so far today, left Queenstown no sign of Hiedi!! Stopped at Wanaka en route, nowt much there and headed straight for Franz Josef. Drove passed tonnes of vinyards, loads of them, they must take a canny bit of looking after!!!! Passed a cliff that they'd just blasted to prevent falling rocks. Drove through the Alps, across Haast pass and into the rainforest.
Now get this right, the west coast gets 5 meters of rain a year!! Now thats mad isnt it? London gets 600mm so here thats 5000mm. So what you get is proper lush rainforest.
Drove along the coast and stopped and saw stacks of pebbles balancing on top of each other, about 6-7 high, hundreds of them, so we built one and set off again.

Stopped at Fox glacier and walked as close to the terminal face as we could. Its honestly huge, the face its self is massive, I reckon Empire State size easily. Then it snakes its way up the valley that it has created for its self. It wasnt as blue and clear as Id imagined, I had imagined looking at a Foxes Glacier Mint but it was pretty dirty from all the top soil that gets blown from the surrounding mountains.

Checked into our hostel in F.Josef by a young Roy Keane look a like, even had the grey beard. We're in a shared dorm with two girls from Cambridge, the Ginger one snored all night like an angry bear. She was on top of me so I had to keep shaking the bunk and each time she woke up she went from angry bear to Chewbacka!!!!

QUEENSTOWN AND CELEBRITY FANS

2009-03-22T17:53:00.000-07:00

Went jet boating on Shotover river. Got picked up in town in a mini bus which took us about an hour out of town to Skippers Canyon. This ride was proper scary, gravel roads with a 200m drop on one side. Rental cars are banned from driving on Skippers road as its that dangerous. It was well worth it to see the views. The driver told us all about the gold rush and the history of the area. He pointed out Mordor or the mountain used as Mordor in that film. I didnt recognise it from the film because they've taken down the massive CGI gates that the Hobbits sneek through!!!!!

Got to the Jet boat and had about 40 minutes up and then back down a stretch of the river, which is only 4 inch in some places but the boats can still motor over it. It was proper mad!!! The driver stopped and showed us another place they filmed which was cool as I could recognise it. After we went up to the original Bungy bridge, which is now closed as its not high enough!!!! Drove back in a massive 4x4 Tank called Thunderbird 1.

Went up the Gondola to the peak, had a razz on the luge go-carts down the track which was well good!!!

Went for a drink that turned into a few which turned into a kebab which turned into another night on the Guiness. Ended up in this Irish bar with an open mic night. I had a bash and they let me do 5 songs, I played a few Oasis and Jam tunes with bongo player and a ginger Bez, he just stood behind me dancing and playing a tambourine. Celebrity guest included none other than Sienna Miller, she was in the crowd and going mad for town called mallace!!!!!! Im havin' that like!!!!!!!!!!!

TE ANAU - QUEENSTOWN

2009-03-22T17:39:00.000-07:00

Packed the car up and waited for Heidi to show, we've agreed to take her to Queenstown, She seems to be making her travel plans around us as she gets a free lift places. But we'll see how it goes. I tried to educate her on the finer points of British culture: Oasis B-sides, Russel Brand, Mighty Boosh, Ricky Gervais and the tribal warfare of North-eastern football. I played her a Russel Brand podcast and as fate would have it, it had to be the show where Russel talks about Hitler throughout the hour long show, putting on a dodgy German accent and says some close to the bone Germanic insults. She seemed to like it though, specifically when he took some herbal Viagra on air and then convinced Trigger off of Fools and Horses to take some as well!!!!!!

Its canny difficult to have any banter with her, Im starting to see where the German sense of humour rumours come from.

Had Ipod on shuffle and a Peril tune came on, so I asked her if she'd ever heard of The Peril, turns out she'd never heard of the North Easts finest band. I told her that the Peril were one of the biggest bands in Britain and spent about 15 minutes telling her facts and figures about The Perils back catalogue and how their lead guitarist got dramatically sacked for his lack of commitment to the band. The Peril has its first German fan I reckon!!!!!!

The drive was mint, passed the Devils staircase and Lake Wakatipu. Finally arrived in Queenstown, really busy town with load of backpackers, in fact probably makes up 80% of the towns population. The whole town revolves around adventure sports: Jet boating, sky diving, bungy jumping, gorge swings, anything you want to do to make your adrenal glands throw up!!!!

Heather wants to go Jet Boating which looks mental!!!

Dropped Heidi off at the hostel she wanted to stay at and waited for about 1/2 an hour till she'd checked in then went and found ours.

MILFORD SOUND, ST PADDY AND A WONTONG

2009-03-22T17:19:00.000-07:00

Drove to Milford Sound with Heidi on board.

Canny drive today, starting to enjoy driving now. I was honestly starting to worry that every town was going to be like the east coast, beautiful but devoid of human life. Worried that Id have memories of New Zealand as just having wonderful countryside but no character (on writing this we're in the north of the south Island and New Zealand I can happily say is amazing and full of character and good quality crack)

Back to Milford Sound, the road in stops at what looks like a dead end blocked by massive mountains then you drive through a tunnel dug straight through the mountain. We'd booked on a boat trip down the fiord to the sea and back again. It was an awesome thing to do. You sail on salt water at sea level and either side of the 1km wide fiord are mountains reaching over 2000m above you, some vertical cliff walls stretching to the sky. Makes you feel canny small and insignificant in the grand scheme!!!
I'm sure in Scotland, and Walshy will correct me if Im wrong, the Munro's are 1000m about sea level and these are over 2000m the biggest being 2723m. Mental man!!!

Wontong incident

Back in Te Anau we went out for Paddy's night, caned the black stuff and had a bit of a jig!! Heidi joined us for some drunken Anglo-German chat!!!!1
We orderd a basket of mixed fried pub food and I accidentally swallowed a crispy wontong whole!!!! It took about 20 minutes to scrape down me throat. It was agony man!!!! I can understand how those mountains felt when the glaciers scrapped rocks and boulders across them all those years ago. Finally the fascist wontong arrived in me stomach, whole still, and Im sure it plugged me stomach hole up because all the Guiness kept back filling me stomach. Needless to say I had the last laugh, it dissloved and I had it right off dot com!!!!!!!!

INVERCARGILL - TE ANAU

2009-03-22T17:09:00.000-07:00

HALF A WORLD AWAY

Arrived at Te Anau to beautiful weather and a beautiful place. Checked into hostel, we've started phoning ahead a day in advance as we were running into problems just turning up!!

Canny little town, there's people here, which is a relief, I was starting to think there'd been a nuclear holocaust and we'd were the only to survive.

Paid $2 to look in on a Trout observatory, it made me feel a bit sad for the Trout. You went underground to basically a big tank full of maybe 100 fish upto about 15lb, so big big fish, most had fins missing and all had scars all over them. The poor fish were far too overcrowded, no way to care for trout. If anyone had been around I think I'd have said me piece but it was a coin opperated turnstile. Shame!!! Best way is to give them plenty of space to live in before sticking a dirty great hook in their gobs!!!!!!!!

Warmed up tina pasta bake for the third day in a row and had a knock on the door from a German girl, travelling alone, called Bee, the name Heidi has stuck as I thought she was Swedish. Anyway she was trying to cadge a life to Milford Sound tomorrow, so we agreed to take her!!

The block we're in has two rooms and a kitchen and a bathroom. The walls are paper thin so we were kept entertained throughout the night with extreme toilet noises from our neighbours!!!!

DUNEDIN - INVERCARGILL

2009-03-22T17:03:00.000-07:00

286km

Set of on the road again. Another day another town!!!!!! Another long slog of a drive today. Stopped about half way at a place called Nugget Point. A light house and nuggets of rocks sticking out of the sea. I think thats why they call it nugget point!!!

Drove the scenic route to Invercargill, beautiful scenery but bit of a long drive.

Driving is becoming a bit of a chore, we're driving about 4-5hours a day and pass maybe a dozen cars on the road. The scenery is amazing and if you have to drive for that long each day then thats the back drop you want to be looking at. The thing is, the destinations aren't all that!!!!! Every town we've been to since Christchurch have been proper one horse towns, each holding on dearly to the word town, I'd call them big empty villages or settlements. Not far from Queens town, probably 3 days or so, so hopefull see some other human beings soon.

OAMARU - DUNEDIN

2009-03-22T16:59:00.000-07:00

119km

Stopped en route at Moeraki to see the Moeraki stones, massive 2m diameter spherical stones. They were weird, they're just there all together, about 30 of them, all in one part of the beach but no where else. I reckon there's a conspiracy going on, like St Cuthberts beads on Holy Island, they can only be found on one beach. Someone put them there I reckon, I guess we'll never know the real agenda until the Lizard Kings eventually reveal themselves.

Dunedin is a bit busier, its a student town so we found a bit more life here.

LAKE TAKE A POO - OAMARU

2009-03-22T16:49:00.000-07:00

Tekapo - Mt Cook

Drove round more windy roads with stunning mountains as a back drop. Still feels unreal, like a picture someone has just drawn on the sky. stopped at the fist sight of Mount Cook, with weird blue Lake Pukai. Carried on up the 50km one way road to Mt Cook village. We had to play an impromtue game of chicken with the fuel tank. We should have filled up earlier but thought there would be fuel pumps in Cook village. There wasnt!!!! So we had a sliver of the fuel gauge to play with and about 75km to the next town.

Mount Cook

There's not much in the village apart from a hotel and a track that takes you as near to the glacier and mount Cook as possible. We walked for about an hour to the foot of Mt Cook, which is massive, over 3000m.

Mount Cook - Twizel

Twizel has a petrol station and one Horse, thats it!!!!!!

Twizel - Oamaru

Long Slog of a drive to Oamaru, got there late afternoon and nothing was open, it was like a ghost town. We did, however, manage to see some blue penguins come in to shore, after a days fishing, we watched them for about an hour or two and saw about 30 of the little fella's come in.

(326km today)

CHRISTCHURCH - LAKE TEKAPO

2009-03-13T21:12:00.000-07:00

304km

First official day on the road. Gonna aim for Lake Tekapo, if we dont reach it in time we'll aim for Geraldine.

Christchurch - Geraldine

Long straight roads that rip through the Canerbury plains, flat countryside curbed in the west by massive jaggered snow capped Alps.
Reached Geraldine in a couple of hours so we stopped for a bit and carried on to Lake Tekapo.
In Geraldine theres a fella whose made a replica of the Bayeux Tapestry using pieces of spring stell broken from knitting machines. He's even finshed the last 1/4 thats missing form the original in a way he thinks the story happend.

Geraldine - Lake Tekapo

Windy roads now and rolling hills like you see on the M6 going north towards the lakes. Looks a bit like the Yorkshire dales countryside here but greener. The grass is the greenest green Ive ever seen, grass like in the Teletubbies, Its so green it doesnt look real.

Passed Mt Sunday which was the location for Edoras in LOTR's

Fourth hostel in Lake Tekapo had some room to stay. Walked round the lake, which is an erie turquoise colour, its glacial melt water and is full of microscopic rock particals that give it its vibrant blue colour. Bluest blue Ive ever seen. The colours in NZ are inreal madn, it makes the scenery look like a cartoon its so perfect!!!!

CHRISTCHURCH

2009-03-13T21:07:00.001-07:00

Had a hang over lie in. Found a coffee shop and planned the next 2 1/2 weeks in the south island. We've got a rough idea of the route we're gonna take but we'll take it a day at a time and see what happens.

Christchurch is a lovely city, its canny small, even though its the biggest City in the South Island it has a small town feel. The buildings are olde worlde. Its canny cold here at the moment so good job we didnt get shot of all our China clothes, could have done with me thermals but they're in Hong Kong. I could easily see me self living in Christchurch,

FLIGHT TO NEW ZEALAND

2009-03-13T21:04:00.000-07:00

Up before the sun came up to catch a train to the airport. Got to Christchurch early afternoon. More sniffer dogs and a sniffer machine. I got stopped for a random explosives search. They had this probe that could detect explosives that they wiped all over me - was a bit weird!!

Picked up the hire car - Silver Nissan Sunny!! Super Sallon tha knaa's!!!

Drove into Christchurch and found hostel. Picked up some leaflets about NZ and this next month should be so good, there's so much to see: Mount Cook, Alpine Glaciers, Crystal clear lakes, beaches, Skiing resorts, salmon farms, Whale watching, penguin colonies, Dolphin watching, Star gazing, Bunjee jumping, Jet Boating, Vinyards, Lord of the Rings stuff, absolutely loads.

Had a wander round Christchurch, found a pub which had live music on and drank a load of Guiness all afternoon and evening - Nice one!!!!

BRIDGE CLIMB

2009-03-13T20:56:00.000-07:00

Woke up to rain and cloudy skies. Perfect weatehr for climbing the bridge eh!!!

After safety breifing and all that we set off up the bridges arches. Thankfully by this time the sky cleared and we had a good view over the harbour.

Berny, our guide, gave us pak a maks and told us they were parachutes and we may have to use them and these little kids were papping themselves.

Got some class views from the top, couldnt take a camera up there so photos below are from one of the towers.

One of the lads in our group proposed to his girlfriend at the top - What a gay!!!!

Walking down the streets a guy from some charity was stopping people trying to sign them up, he stops us and says ' Are you from the north of England' stunned I asked him how he knew and he reckons he can tell where people are from by how they look as he meets so many people from all over the world. He thought I looked like I was from Manchester - he must have mistook me for Sir Noel of Gallagher - I was having that like!! - spent the rest of the afternoon swaggering round town!!!!

In the evening we got the train down to the pier and had some food and drinkls and saw the harbour all lit up which was very nice!!

Few strange things about Ozzy Pubs:

1. All the pubs have bookies inside them so the barman doubles up as a booky.

2. The pubs sell a lot of off licence booze in cliche brown paper bags for people to take away.

3. Saw a barman actually washing some money, just the coins, proper soap and water job then toweled it dry - new meaning to money laundering!!!

4. Pints are smaller than pints back home, so I guess theyre not pints, think they are 500ml but makes you feel bigger than you actually are when drinking them.

BONDI

2009-03-13T20:45:00.000-07:00

Had a well deserved lie in the day. Chance to recover from all the walking around and big gay fun from last night.
Got on a city sight open topped bus from central station. Two routes Sydney and Bondi. Stayed on the city loop all the way round and saw some things we'd missed yesterday. Then got on the Bondi beach loop.

As we got on the heavens opened.

Bondi is world famous for its surfing apparently, its a huge beach enclosed in a bay of cliffs that force the sea to produce massive waves.

Had a wander round for a few hours then we had to go and wait for the bus back into the city.

The thing was, there was limited buses back to Sydney and loads of people wanting to get back. The buses are all open topped and it was hoying it down so we stood for about 40 mins in the rain to make sure we could a) get a bus back and b) get on the lower deck out of the rain.
The rain politics worked as we and the other daft sods who chose to get soaked got on the lower deck and the cocky dry folk who were seeking shelter ended up on top deck.
Moral of the story: everyone gets wet eventually!!!!!

SYDNEY

2009-03-12T13:56:00.000-07:00

What a cracking couple of days in Sydney!!! Got up canny early to start exploring the city. Walked from the hostel through Hyde park, through the botanical gardens, down to a point where you can see the bridge and opera house. Walked up to the Opera house and then got a ferry to Manly.

Walked up the beach at Manly which was rammed with weekend ozzy's surfing, playing volley ball and sunbathing. The beaches here are amazing with massive waves.

Back to Sydney harbour and walked around the rock which is a area of markets and quant little buildings. Had a few pints in a german pub.

Walked back to Hyde park in the evening and spent a few hours watching the Mardi Gras celebrations.

Sydney is an awesome city, theres so much going on, the sights are amazing, the people are really friendly and the weather is incredible. I reckon every one should move over here to live. They reckon 1/3 of Sydneys population were born overseas.

It really is a proper mint place to be, you see the bridge and opera house on tele and in photo's but actually being here feels unreal. I have to keep checking myself and remind me self that Im in Sydney and not dreaming!!!!!

Pintage in the German bar.

Manly beach

Opera House

Harbour Bridge

Opera House again

Bridge AND Opera House

EVERYONE SHOULD MOVE TO SYDNEY

2009-03-08T03:18:00.000-07:00

Arrived at Sydney airport in the evening. After passport control, while waiting for your bags, you're constantly being sniffed at by sniffer dogs looking for illegal stuff. Not drugs but food, soil and wood!! I guess stuff thats likely to have savage effects on their ego system!

Got a double deckered train to central station and checked into the hostel, which is well cool. A bit shabbier than most we've stayed in but its rammed with backpackers and has a great bustling atmosphere.

Already noticing the price increase of everything here - no more cheap living now we've left Asia!!

First impressions of Sydney are fantastic. The city is wonderful even in the dark. Looking forward to seeing the city tomorrow.

There are load of tourists here from all over Oz as its the Mardi Gras tomorrow so it should be a good gay day tomorrow!!!

Get yer gay out for the lads!!!!!!

Heathers found somewhere to work!!

SINGA - BORE

2009-03-08T03:07:00.001-07:00

Singapore is a bit uninspiring! Theres very little to see and do, no atmosphere to the city and I'd go as far as saying a little bit dull!!

We wondered around looking for the sights of Singapore. We found the Singapore eye, walked around the Singapore sky line for a bit. There doesnt seem to be anyone here!! Its like that film 28 days later where that chap wakes up in London and its deserted!!! Maybe thats whats to blame for the lack of any atmosphere. A lot of the shopping malls are underground so maybe everyone is down there having it and we're up top like a couple of fairies!!

Had a few coffees (see Im writing about having coffee, theres thats much to do here!!) had a look at a few markets. Went to China town - which was the highlight. A bit of crack was being had by the Chinese!

Back to the hostel - watched a DVD. Off to OZ tomorrow. Its not sad to turn our heals to Singapore!!

BUS BUS BUS

2009-03-08T01:57:00.000-08:00

Went to the bus station in KL to catch our bus to Singapore. The bus station is weird. There are dozens of stair wells in a row that lead down to the bus platforms, exhaust fumes pouring out of them.

Bus was at 11:30am so we got there at 11:00am, got our platform and were down there at no later than 11:05am. Met a guy there who'd been there since 9:00am - not looking good! At 12:00pm Heather went to check with our bus company where the bus was. The wifey says we must have mussed it!!!! (no bus had been to our platform in the hour we'd been there) After a load of excuses we were sold to another bus company (sold like football players but with no signing on fee) who set off at 1:30pm.

After 6 hours on a bus we arrived at Singapore where we had to disembark the bus and go through customs twice, once out of Malaysia and once into Singapore. There was a lad from Africa on our bus that had to go to a seperate room in the Singapore passport control. He never made it back on our bus before we pulled away. Either he was an internationally wanted man or the bus driver had just got bored and drove off!! Hope he managed to get to where he wanted to go as it was another hour on the bus to get into Singapore city.

Taxi to Hostel - had a walk round little India

UP A HEIGHT

2009-03-08T01:47:00.000-08:00

I woke up early and left Heather a bed, she's not feeling to well, think it may have been the curry last night. I walked to the Patrona's Towers to cue for tickets to go up to the viewing platform. Got tickets for 12:45pm. I walked in to town with all the commuters, going to work, which was pretty cool, pretended I was a Malaysian on me way to work.

We both went up the towers in the afternoon - quality!!

Heather chilled out at the hostel for most of the afternoon and I roamed around the city pretending it was my city and that I lived there and this was just a normal day for me!!

Aw no Ive only spent half a day by me sel and Ive gone all daffy like Andy!!!!

KL is really a wonderful city, it has a feel of London, everything seems close by, as the skyrail is so good. You can be at one side of the city one minute and then youre at the other side in the blink of an eye. Makes seeing the city very convenient.
Its absolutely roasting here, not hot hot but warm hot!!!! The air is so dense and makes you sweat all the time. By about 4 pm it rains like no bodies buisness. It happened every day we were there for!! Its great as it cools the air down.

KUALA LUMPUR STICK IT UP YOUR JUMPA!!!

2009-03-08T01:23:00.001-08:00

Explored KL until late afternoon of the first day there. We saw the old colonial cricket pitch in the middle of the city and the tallest flag poll in the world. There's a lot of old colony buildings here. Weird to think the British just decided to move here and start a British way of life in a foreign country, wonder what the locals thought of it. By the by Malaysia is left with a fantastic city with a wonderful atmosphere.

Heather met a guy in the hostel, Andy, he's in his mid thirties and wants to find somewhere in the world to live that is better than England!!!!, he's been here for over a week so therefore a Guru on life in KL, I thought. We went for a curry with him in the evening, canny lad but turns out he's a bit of a bore and loves to moan on!!!! I guess thats what traveling alone does to you, he'd been on his own for 6 months and not had much conversation. Felt a bit sorry for him but when you get conversation dont winge on about the fact that you cant find anyone to talk to just talk!!!!! He's also not seen or done anything in KL so I taken away his Guru status!!!

Left Andy to lick his wounds that a life on the road had given him and went to see the Patrona Towers all lit up. They look awesome at night!!

Went for a drink at an Irish bar - 6 pund for a pint of bitter - I tell you what it made me bitter, supped up and went to find an off licence!

Back at the hostel we drank and talked with some other backpackers for a few hours. There is some strange folk about!!! One lad who sort of lives in Bali whose also from Germany (!!!) is a surfing instructor and was in KL to renew his visa for Bali. I know thats not strange but he was!!
He liked to use the F word alot and tell lots of stories about his exploits in Bali. He had a mate called Patrick who was German who looked like an albino with a tan!! Now he was strange and also liked the F word! I can start to see why Andy is going a bit mental having to talk to people like this!!! Anyway canny crack!!!!!

CAR CRASH

2009-03-08T01:10:00.000-08:00

Got a taxi from the airport to K L centre in the pouring rain. The taxi fella was another Penfold look-a-like. First thing - the taxi's headlights didnt work. Second thing - the taxi's speedometer didnt work. I only noticed because he was bombing along a soaking wet road, aquaplaning awrl awa the place when I saw we were travelling at zero miles an hour. Great stuff!!!!!!

It eventually had to happen, he aquaplaned going far too fast, lost control and the taxi skidded nose first into the barrier. He kept saying 'no control, no control' and staring at his steering wheel - Stupid arse!!! Didnt they teach him at taxi driver school that you dont go hell for leather over 3 inches of water - you're going to skid my friend, no matter how clever you think you are!!!!! What a TIT!!!!

Thankfully no injuries.

He then drops us off about half a mile away from where we wanted to be.

So hear we are, the two of us in Kuala Lumpur, in the pouring rain, soaking wet, laiden down with our backpacks, flip flops slipping off our feet and havent the foggiest clue where we are!!!!!

Eventually found the hostel in the early hours. There's a lot of backpackers here which is good, there's a few communal rooms so looking forward to meeting some other travellers. Not tonight though as Im wet, exhausted and still getting over our near death experience!!!!!!!

GOOD BYE THAILAND

2009-03-08T01:04:00.000-08:00

Had a few more days back on Koh Samui, one of which I spend hoying me guts up. Dont know what was up, I hadnt eaten owt bad but I was sick for about 14 hours and it was the most violent I'd ever vommed!! I reckon Id had too much sun!!!

Anyway, nowt really to report on time spent round the pool, on the beach and generally chilling out. Did watch a film called 'Kenny' about this Ozzy portaloo engineer, it was a bit like The Office as in it was a fake documentry thing. Very funny though!!!

Starting to get itchy feet now.

Got the tiniest plane Ive ever seen to Kuala Lumpur, it looked like it was made out of Macarno!!! It had 4 propellers and about 20 seats, it got us there in one piece anyhow!!!!

PLASTIC KOH PHANGNAN

2009-03-08T00:44:00.000-08:00

The full moon party!!! this whole town seems to exist entirely for this lunar event. No one seems to have told the local that its not full moon every night!! Every night the local vampires are out, dozens of them in rows trying to sell you buckets of cocktails, juggling fire on the beach with only a hand full of people watching, flashing neon signs trying to temp the tourists on the beach in to their bars. Radio friendly dance music blaring out to half a dozen punters making a half effort to show that they are officially 'having it' The problem is that there is no where near enough people about to create even a tiny bit of an atmosphere. In fact its pretty quiet!!

I'm sure this would be the place to be on that one night of the month but for the other 30 days it feels like the islanders are trying to create the party atmosphere every night and failing to pull it off. In fact Im not sure that this would be the place to be, as the whole thing seems contrived and fake and Im certain it wouldnt feel like the spontaneous party that happened on this beach nearly 20 years ago in the 1980's. It just ends up looking a bit sad and pathetic. A bit plastic!!

The bars end up getting people in by showing back to back films on massive screens - mostly showing The Beach. So on one hand you've got the bars trying to get you in the party mood with all the glitter and flashy lights and loud music and one the other hand you've got the bars who've accepted that its not full moon and its not 1985 and sedated their punters by making them watch a film which silences the bar.

The island has invented black moon, half moon, toenail shaped moon, whatever moon parties on the success of the full moon party. I dont want to sound cynical but thats how it makes you feel here, FORCED FUN!!!!

Unless it is actually Full Moon and you like a bit of prescribed revelry stay away from Sunrise beach!!!

THE BEACH - KOH PHANGAN

2009-03-08T00:26:00.000-08:00

We had three days on Koh Phangan, the party island!!! Every full moon they have massive full moon parties on Hat Rin sunrise beach. We missed the full moon by two weeks and missed the black moon party by 2 days. Hat Rin is all set up for these parties and from getting off the ferry thats all you heard about.

The place we found to stay is on the sunset beach of Hat Rin up on blue hill. When we checked in there wasnt a soul about, we were shown a few rooms then the chap ( Alex) offered us a villa, yes a villa for the same price we would have paid for a room, 12 quid. So we got an awesome view overlooking the sea from high up on the hillside and Koh Samui, a massive room and a balcony that stretches two sides of the villa. Mental!!! There's also one of them eternity pools, where the pool is on the edge of the hill and the water in the pool, full to the brim, pours over the side like you see on the tele in them mansions in L.A. Its proper cool that!!!

I guess you can see why they call it sunset beach!!

Late afternoon in the sea about a mile out there are fisherman actually wading chest deep in the sea fishing with rod and line. Their boat is there also so I guess rod and line is more efficient or ethical than trawler fishing. Thats what I like to see, proper fishing!!!

DAY 35 22-02-2009 - KO SAMUI

2009-02-25T04:23:00.000-08:00

Filled up with free breakfast again! Problem with eating a big breakfast is that I get hungry earlier than if I dont have any breafast.

Pool had been visited by the towel fairies. Only about 6 people there but all the beds taken up with towels - Swines!!!!!

So went to the beach. Tide was in and the beachs are pretty narrow so you're lying on the bed and the tide comes straight under the bed which is weird.!!!

Had crisp sandwhiches for tea and watched Die Hard in English with english subtitles. They sensor out all religious references but not swearing which was strange.

They wouldnt allow 'Jesus Mary Mother of God' (although the subtitles still said it) but they would allow 'Yipee Kaiyay Mother effer'

DAY 34 - 21-02-2009 KOH SAMUI

2009-02-25T04:17:00.000-08:00

Had breakfast at the hotel -free buffet -well nice - anything you want. Filled up with free food so we dont have to have to buy any till night time as the hotel is a bit higher than we'd like to pay. So we're sacrificing food for shelter (and a pool)

Sat round the pool and planned the rest of Thailand and Malysia:

Plan is:

- Ferry to Ko Phangan - stay three nights
- Ferry back to Ko Samui - stay back there three nights
- Fly from Ko Samui to Kuala Lumpur - stay there three nights
- Bus to Singapore - stay there twonights

We were planning to get a bus to K L but the flight isn't much more than a bus or train ticket plus we'd save ourselfs well over 24 hours in travelling time.

Booked flight through a lass at the hotel.

Walked ino the village, had food and watched the Sunderland game.

DAY 33 - 20-02-2009 - KOH SAMUI

2009-02-25T04:04:00.000-08:00

Got 50 mins kip last night. They dont switch the lights off so I had to use a dirty pair of boxers to cover me eyes and they're nothing stopping you faling off the top bunk!!

Got to Surat Thani train station and rapidly ushered onto a bus. For a while I thought we'd been taken capive but they came through as a few hours later we were at the pier to take us to Koh Samui.

1 1/2 hours later we arrived! Jumped onto the back of one of those lorry taxi's. Got off at Hat Bophut.

I sat with the bags for about an hour while Heather went on a recky to find somewhere to stay. Its quite expensive to stay here (Thai standards not British) no 3 pund rooms here. Got an air con, en suite with pool. Strange that theres a pool since the beach is only a stones throw away. Might be of use as the sand on the beach is a bit more course than on Koh Samet!!

The sea here is green but constantly changes to dark blue, which makes it look like a camoflague pattern. Its when the clouds cast shadows on the sea. Shows how clear the water is!!!!

Found an Ozzy bar thats showing the Sunderland Arsenel game tomorrow night!

DAY 32 - 19-02-2009 - SLEEPER TO SURAT THANI

2009-02-25T03:53:00.000-08:00

The sleepers are different to the ones in China. No compartments, jus a long central walk way with lots of beds either side. One up one down. The down one folds out as two seats that face each other.

Lots of foreigners (mainly Germans and French) on this train. We do have a Thai family over from us. They have a two year old who has shoes that squeak, like Sweep off of the Sooty Show, each time she takes a step. Funny for the first 20 seconds them it makes you want to rip off your ears and throw them at the stupid parents for:

a) buying them in the first place,
b) not taing them off their over excitable child, whose new hobby seems to be jumping on the spot.
c) still not taking them off her before both parent fall asleep.

This kid is mental, she cant sit still for two seconds, I think her parents have given her too many e numbers today, either that or she's on crack!! It sounds like Sweeps been on an amphetamine binge!!

Hells bells!!!! Shes climbing up the ladder to the upper bunk and parents are still asleep. Going to have to intervene!!!!

Ended up playing round and round the garden with the cocaine kid for nearly an hour!!! Managed to get Sweep off her though!!!!!

DAY 32 - 19-02-2009 - TRAVELLING

2009-02-25T03:35:00.000-08:00

Air Con was A Con!!!! It did work to an extent but still an uncomfortable night.

On the road again today and best part of tomorrow.

9:30am

- walked to pier - waited around !

- got to mainland bus station - waited around !

We must have sat on the wheels of the bus and they must have just tightened the suspension or something as we bounced around (got lifted off our seats) for 3 1/2 hours.

- picked our bags up from hostel in Bangkok

- got to Bangkok train station - waited around !

Had to stand for the national anthem in the train station at 6pm. The waiting area was pretty comfy and clean then you go through to the platforms ans its like stepping back in to the victorian era. The whole 4 platforms are full of thick black diesel fumes and all 4 waiting trains sit there waiting, engines rumbling away, apitting out dirty black fumes.
You cant see the end of any train or even the roof of the station as the smog is that thick.

All thats left is to see Dick Van Dyke and his Chiminey sweep mates jump out shouting
'STEP IN TIME"

- got on train to Surat Thani at 7:30pm

DAY 31 - 18-02-2009 - KOH SAMET

2009-02-25T03:33:00.000-08:00

Another day on the beach, another breakfast of golf ball beans on toast. Took it easy in the sun today!

Get in!!!!!!!!!! Managed to aquire our sels an air con room for our last night here.

Had luch at another bar down the beach. The barman showed me a canny litttle trick with a beer bottle top.

DAY 30 - 17-02-2009 - KOH SAMET

2009-02-25T03:27:00.000-08:00

Had breakfast on the beach - beast on toast - the beans were about the size of acorns man, they were massive.

Spent the day on the beach doing absolutely nowt bar read and sleep!!!

Heather spent most of the day in shade and still got sunburned, she had proper Panda eyes as she'd kept her sun goggs on all day.

On the beach there's these tiny little crabs that burrow tunels in the sand and come up and spit out balls of sand. Al you can see at first is hundreds of balls of sand around the holes then the crabs burst out.

Went for tead back at Jeps -Thai Curry - green for me red for Heather.

Had a terribleights kip in the room last night. It was swelteringly hot, the sweat buckets out of you whilst the fan does its best at blowing hot air at you as you try and sleep - nightmare

DAY 29 -16-02-2009 - KOH SAMET

2009-02-25T03:08:00.000-08:00

Gotup early and checked out of Hi Sukumvit hostel. Pu our big bags in storage and headed for the bus station. Got the bus to Bamphe and ferry to Nadan pier on Koh Samet island. Jumped of the back of a lorry, which doubled as a taxi.

We found the beach we wanted to stay on and went on the search for a place to stay. Most places were full except the most expensive rooms/bungalows. We managed to get a room for 3 quid a night. If you've ever seen the film the beach - the room he stays in before he reaches the island is not far from this one, only difference is there is no crazy Scottish fela burrowing his way into the room with a secret map and slitting his wrists.

Its a room about the size of a double bed, as it fits a double bed in with a foot either side for our bags. The windows and cracks in the wooden walls, leading to outside, are gaffered up to prevent the mozzys getting in. The bog and showers are a little walk away, the shower is a square room with a hole in the wall where a hose pipe pops out. But for 3 pund a night you cant grumble.

Went for a walk along the beach. The island is jungle except the narrow edges of beaches along its perrimeter and the beaches are so good!!!!!!

Long blinding whote sand that is so fine that it fizzes under foot like when you put a Quaver on your tongue. The green sea is crystal clear and stretches out as far as you can see. The coast is full of palm trees that are abour 3-4 story's high and the beach huts and bungalows sit in between the coconut and palm trees on the beach and up into the jungle. Its amazing!!!!

Chilled out in the beach bar where we are staying -JEP'S BUNGALOWS- then went to another to watch Quantum of Solice

DAY 28 - 15-02-2009 - continued

2009-02-25T02:47:00.000-08:00

On our way back to meet the rest we went to see Wat Trimitr - 3 meter solid gold Budda. It was only discovered in the 50's as it was covered in plaster to disquise it from theives when they moved it to Bangkok. It worth 10 million USD.

From there we neededto get a boat to take us back to Khao san Road. We ended up getting lost in Chian town, we wandered for an hour or so until a fella stopped us and said 'why are you here, there's nothing to see here' We thought he was trying to get us to take a Tuk Tuk but he was just being nice.

A lot of people here are very dishonest, every corner you turn your stopped by someone trying to take a Tuk Tuk somewhere you dont want to go - then sell you something you dont want to buy when youre there. They even tell you places are closed when you do tell them where you are going. It makes you a bit wary of everyone!!!

Eventually found the river and our boat!

The river is a pretty interesting to be on. Its packed with longtail boats, ferry tours, fishing boats, transportation vessels. There are swirls of vegatation all over the surface of the river, wether they've been disturbed from the river bed or the river bank I dont know. The best thing are the fish, I dont know what they are but they jump out of the water in their shoals when boats pass. I dont know if they are feeding on whats been disturbed by the boats or are just freeking out from the vibrations of the motors. Either way its a canny good thing to watch.

Saw a woman waist deep in the river, under one of the piers checking her fishing nets. There are a few rod and line fishermen onthe bank.

Met up with the rest and had a few drinks and the best kebab Ive ever had in my life from a street seller. Few more drinks and then we said our goodbyes. Could possibly bump into the lads again but Sophie is travelling in a different direction to us now. So wont see her for a while as she's travelling for a year.

Got on the 511 bus, the same as we got last night and got kicked off!!!!! So we had to wait and get the next one!!!

DAY 28 - 15-02-2009 - BANGKOK STILL

2009-02-21T20:20:00.000-08:00

Met Sophie and few of the boys@ Siam station and went on the Mo Chit on the skyrail. Went to Chatachuk weekend market. 8,000 stalls selling everything from T-shirts - triangular pillows - Antique amulets. Very Busy and sweaty.

Heather and me left everyone to go to the train station to book a sleeper to Surat Thani. We'd been warned by various guide book to be aware of people trying to sell you trips. As we approached the station, as of on cue, a very friendly lady asked if she could help. She said she was from T.A.T. the officail travel agent in Bangkok. She went through our palns and gave us loads of information then took us away from the station to book the tickets, syaing that the train station cant book us the bus and ferry tickets we would need to get to the Island. We must have walked for about 5 mins before Heather turned us around and we left her.

Naturally we could and did buy the train, bus and ferry tickets we needed to get to Ko Samui. I think one of the things that made unsure of her 'official' status was instead of her badge saying T.A.T. it said T.I.T seriously!!!!!!!!

DAY 27 - 14-02-2009 - BANGKOK STILL

2009-02-21T20:09:00.000-08:00

Skytrained it to the river again then longtail to the Grand Palace. You are supposed to dress appropriatley there so they borrowed me a pair of Ghandi Pants to where.

The Palace is amazing, alot shineyer and glittery than owt we saw in China. The whole place sparkles in the sun. We spent alot of time lookinmg for shade as it was canny hot. Even the spacious Ghandi Pants dont vent you that well!!

Got our photo taken by this woman monk, dressed all in white robes sporting a skin head.

We met up with Sophie on Khao San Road, she flew in this morning, Went for some food then got the longtail down to the reclining Budda. Which is a massive Golden Budda lying on its side chilling out. Its supposed to represent the highest state of peace before you dissolve into Karma or something like that. Didnt read the whole info board. BUT did see a statue of what I thought was the Hitcher from the Mighty Boosh. A fella pointed out that it was Marco Polo. Well I was close as the Hitcher has a Polo eye.

Went back to K S R and met up with the tall boys. Took them ages to arrive, they'd been stopped by a suit toute and Blue Adam and Tom paid 200 quid for a suit!!!!!!! They are leaving tomorrow and it needs to be made from scratch!!!

Went to a few bars and met up with the Brum lads.

We'd missed all the boats out of the backpacker area as it was late on (the main part of Bangkok has terrible transprot links)

We drinkenly got on a bus we thought would take us back to our hostel. After 45 minutes and a little help from a chap behind us we eventually arrived at our stop.

The buses have conductors, that rattle a long metal pringles tube full of cash and tickets!!!

DAY 26 -13-02-20009 - BANGKOK

2009-02-20T19:46:00.000-08:00

Got the Skyrail to the river and took a river boat upto Khao San Road to have a butchers. Its mental round there, with stalls and markets and bars and hostels. Its like a place set up to sell stuff to backpackers before they set off on their travels.
You can buy anything you want round here - even get yourself a fake press pass!!!!!! why would you want one?

Thought about moving to a hostel closer to K S R but they're more expensive so we'll try and get another few nights in the one we're in as this is our last night in our hostel.

Went and saw the Golden Mount, which is pretty cool. From the top you can see the whole of Bangkok. People were burning incense and praying to the Buddas. They were also repainting the mount with Gold paint. Weird - I assumed it was made of real Gold!!

Got on a random longtail boat on a canal to a shopping mall -looking for a mossy net for when we get to the islands. - Didnt find one!!

Got Skytrain back to the hostel and sat downstairs with the rest of the backpackers and planned our next 3 weeks in Thailand!

Plan:

-Koh Samet for few days by boat and ferry
-Back to Bangkok
-Overnight train to Surat Thani
-Ferry to Koh Samui for a week or so
-See what happens

Tried to book another 2 nights in the hostel -HI SUKUMVIT- but they were fully booked, but we've got a mixed dorm to stay in.

DAY 25 - 12-02-2009 - BANGKOK

2009-02-20T19:36:00.000-08:00

Didnt get much kip on the chairs in the airport. I had a bag of monkey nuts in me bag that I was using as a pillow and it crunched everytime I moved me head.

Had a few hours then went for a Popeye Burger, thats a burger that you eat and watch endless episodes of Popeye but they market it as a Popeye burger - No spinach burger or owt just a burger and an cartoon!!!

Plane to Bangkok - Got a bus to the hostel. There were a couple of dodgy old British fella's on the bus - I reckon they're after Thai brides, already noticed a few old men with stunning young Thai girls. No LADY BOYS spotted as yet but Im still looking.

Hostel is pretty cool. Shared bathroom, air con (which is a gift sent from Heaven above -as its hot here 30 degrees) Did a bit laundry on the roof of the hostel. They've got this chill out balcony with a 4 stringed guitar which is canny good.

Saw an Elephant walking down the street on the way back from the pub. First I thought Id had too much and was seeing the 'Pink Elephant' like when Dumbo got drunk taht time - but it was grey!

There are taxi's here the colour of Wham bars. Bright shocking pink. I wanna lick one!!

The hostels a canny trip to the backpacker area of Bangkok, round Khao San Road but Bangkok is such a crazy city that it might be good to get away from it at the end of the day.

DAY 24 - 11-02-2009 HONG KONG

2009-02-13T04:35:00.001-08:00

Last offical day in China!

Checked out of room and left bags in storage. Left behind thermals and some other cold weather gear!!

Went across to Hong Kong island on metro adn on the HK island tram which took us to the highest point to look over Honk Kong's north shore. Spectacular views from up there even though it was a bit hazy.

Got asked by a Chinese school boy called Martin to answer some questions for a survey he was doing for school and got me photo taken with him by his mate.

Said our goodbyes to John and Rachael. theyre going to meet a mate who lives in here. Pretty sad to leave them but hopefully meet up at somepoint back in blighty.

Met Sophie, Russ and Clare in a coffe shop then bumped into the tall lads.

Watched the light show - lots of skyscrapers on the Hong Kong side of the river put on a light display each night at 8pm. I'd heard alot about it and I was ready for it to change my life - it didnt but was still good.

Bumped into the Brum lads and all went for food up Nathan street.

Picked bags up from the hotel storage and Heather and me caught our bus to the airport @ 10pm flight is at 9am tomorrow orning so we're gonna kip at the airport to save messing around finding a new place to sleep.

DAY 23 - 10-02-2009 HONG KONG

2009-02-13T04:22:00.001-08:00

Shenzhen - 10:30am. Got off the train, now shorts weather, strange how I cant remember how cold we were in Beijing!!!

Went through imigration into Hong Kong. Got passports stamped. Got three metros to Jordon station and checked into hotel.

Hong Kong uses the policy 1 country 2 systems where basically Hong Kong has carried on being the same Honk Kong under Chinese rule as it was under British.

- Car drive on left (therefore no crazy right turns at red lights)
- All signs are in English
- Buildings look western
- No Spitting allowed
- No Hawking (?) (could be psitting again)
- No smoking in public places
- You can buy porn
- You can protest (saw three protests in an hour - some bank or other are crooks apparently)
- Everything costs more
- You cna be as capitalist as you fancy.

Hong Kong a fantastic city!! Went to the avenue of stars (like in LA with the cement handprints of China's film stars) Saw the amazing skyline of Hong Kong Island. Got the ferry across to the island (we are staying on Kowloon)

Met up with everyone for the last meal together. Had Star fish (tasted of sand) and chickens feet (like chewing on a bic biro)

Went to Temple street night market. Lots of holiday makers on their way somewhere on their day or two stop over in Hong Kong. Lots of shiney white trainers and bum bags buying tat off of the peddlers (that dont even haggle with you as they are so used to foreigners that cant wait to buy their I heart Hong Kong t-shirts and happy budda heads.

We did see this fella trying to sell the budda heads with four faces on one head. He picks one up and oes ' happy happy lucky lucky' then bursts into hysterics then stops just as quickly as he started and says ' hundred dolla'

Went back to Blue Adams room and got battered with everyone and made plans with Ling to come back next year, when she's not working, and go camping in Tibet.

DAY 22 - 09-02-2009 TRAVELLING AGAIN

2009-02-13T04:08:00.000-08:00

Another travelling day today. Had to start catching the same public buses back to Guilin at 1pm, which meant getting there at 12pm to make sure we could sit down.

Spent the morning wandering round Deadwood, we followed a trail of fresh blood (serioulsy) for about 20 mins, never saw the injuried party. We were follwed by a troop of dogs, never seen the breed before, they just known locally ast guard dogs - look like wolves.

Got the bus for a couple of hours, did the swap with another bus again, then a couple more hours back to Guilin.

Guilin is dirty and it stinks.

Went to the worst bog on my whole life. Worse than a 5 day old Glastonbury long drop. The smell of ammonia sindged the hairs off your eyeballs it was that strong. There were turds in every corner of the room and just a Roman style trough that ran through the building that everyone did their buisness, in hope that it would flow down way from them into another poor souls path - BAD TIMES ! ! ! !

We had 5 1/2 hours to kill in Guilin before a 16 hour hard sleeper to Hong Kong. 5 1/2 hours in smelly Guilin.

John, Rachael, Sophie, Heather and me walked round, got racially abused by the internet lady, found some edible food and came across a fantastic lake with one of those 9 cornered bridges of death (like in Shanghai) leading to a temple in the middle of the lake. No people of the bridge this time so just a bridge! Had our pictures taken by more chinese.

Last day of spring fest so loads more fire crackers going off.

John gave an English lesson to a Chinese lass in a coffe shop.

Got on the sleeper @ 10pm. We had a Chinese lass in with us this time, she snored all night. Half way through the night the underwire in her bra pinged off and fell on the floor. Me and John named her Ping Ping the snoring lady.

The novelty of overnight sleepers has worn off now I think, no one takes any photos and theres no general excitment for spending the best part of a day cramped up in a bunk anymore.
Still, good crack was had!!!!

DAY 21 - 08-02-2009 LONGJI TERRACES

2009-02-13T03:56:00.000-08:00

Met @ breakfast a lass from Ping an, the town we will stay in tonight, who will show us the way through the terraces and over the mountains. She was paid by one of the girls to carry her bag!!! I dont think she was that bothered like since she got some money and she was fitter than any of us.

Walked for about 5 hours through the most amazing landscape of mountains and terraced fields.

The steep sided valleys have been carved over centuries to form very tight stair like formations down the mountain slope. from higher up it looks like contour lines on a map.

On the way we were hassled a bit by the locals to buy their hand made stuff and by the local Yoa girls asking for money to show us thir long hair.

The weather was perfect for walking, about 25 degrees and a little bit of wind to cool you down. Had some good crack walking a talking.

Stopped at this village en route for a breather and loads of people appeared from no where to stare at the white folk (or pink folk due to the sunburn)

Arrived at Ping an and saw the tourist trap we'd been told about, which wasnt that bad. Ping an's a bigger place than last night. I quite like it. It feels like some wild west frontier town like Deadwood!! Half built wooden hotels and houses, pigs, dogs, horses and cattle wondering round muddy paths. The sound of hammering and sawing and cockrills crowing. I half expected some drunken cowboy to fall out a saloon with bullets in his yella belly followed by wild Bill Hickock or something like that!!

Found the accomodation down the windy cobbled streets, showered and sat of the wooden balcony playing cards, drinking beers and overlooking the terraces - GOOD TIMES ! ! !

DAY 20 - 07-02-2009 TRAVELLING

2009-02-13T03:38:00.000-08:00

Got a bus from Yangshou back to Guilin - Choka again

We're trekking through the rice terraces of Longji for the next couple of days, up in the mountains known as the Dragons Spine.

We're staying with the Yao people tonight in Dazai.

The mountains here are populated by a number of different minority groups most are the Zhuang but there are others, Miao, Dong, and our Yao people.

The Yao women still wear their traditional gear, bright pink tops adn black skirts and black leggings, they have long hair that goes down to the floor and they rap it round their heads and pin it together.

The Yao people apparently still hunt for a living and are described by the locals as rustic savages that are just happy to own a gun and a knife!!!

In Guilin we left our big bags in storage and got on another bus. This mini bus still had 17 of us and a good 10 Chinese on it and there were about 15 seats.

They use buses i n this part of China as a post man as their isnt a postal service here so Chickens, Dogs, boxes and parcels are put on a bus and collected at their destination.

The bus took us into mountainous countryside. It is epic countryside as well. The kind I imagine Canada's Rocky's look like. The kind you'd see hairy bears in.

On the journey saw:

- Duck farms
- Babies on Mopeds (no helmets)
- Two Babies on a moped
- Lettece growing in the ground on the road side
- Drivers overtaking on blind corners.

The bus stopped randomly and we were ushered off on litterally jumped onto another one which took us higher up the mountains.

The rivers are bluer tahn blue here adn the mountains are so densely covered in bamboo and trees that no part of the mountain floor is visable.

Coupke of hours and we reached the village of Dazai. Its an hour trek (the last 500m above sea level) up to where we are staying.

The terraces are already in sight. The village, with its wooden homes and cobbled paths is squeezed into a steep fold in the mountain.

The people here are very friendly, we passed many of them hearding cows and horses, which were carrying bricks and sticks.

These valleys have only recently got electricity and phone lines. Alot of traders from Yangshou have come over to surrounding villages and towns with a better knowledge of tourist and their need for crappy souvenirs, which is making it harder for the local minority groups to ern a living. None here in Dazai though.

Played a few games of Mahjong.

Had food straight from the ground, all local to that village, probably even to that house.

DAY 19 - 06-02-2009 YANGSHOU

2009-02-13T03:28:00.000-08:00

12 of us went out on the hunt for some bikes. First lady we came across got us chatting and said she'd get us bikes and come with us to get us out of town and into the country, so we took up her offer. She's called Esther adn had this little book of nice things people had said about her. She was hilarious!! She even had a cut out from a Swedish newspaper she'd been in.

We set off out of town and played a game of chicken with the Ynagshou traffic system till we got into the countryside. Another hot day.

We rode for a few hours through the Madonna mountains and stopped at a place called moon hill - a mountain with a hole in it that looks like a moon.

Got pestered to buy a drink of this toothless Chinese bird and foolishly I said later as we were going for a drink in the moon pig cafe! On the way out she ran about 200m straight at me, smiling her toothless smile so I had to buy some water off of her.

The countryside is even better here. It unbelievable!!

Saw this dead old lass bent double pulling an ox 4 times the size of her. She got me to take a photo of her then rran after me for some money. I was too quick for this one as I had wheels!!!

Rode for another couple of hours back into town. Easily the best bike ride Ive been on, even better than the great Finchale Abbey bike ride of '96.

Arse to proper killing now like!!

DAY 18 - 05-02-2009 YANGSHOU

2009-02-05T23:50:00.000-08:00

Up early today. Droped me laundry off with Manuel, should be read this evening.

Heather, John, Sophie and me met this fella in the reception area and he took us to the local park to teach us a bit of Tai Chi. The park was masive and packed with local Chinese doing Tai Chi to music and playing cards on these stone tables and chairs that are all over the place, we all said that they wouldnt last five minutes in an English park.

Saw a five piece band practicing, there were two of these large four stringed mandolin things, two of these one stringed instrument they were playing with a bow and a bamboo flute. Sounded canny good!!

The little fella (never found out his name, he looked a bit like Penfold off of Danger Mouse) took us to a quieter part of the park. Before we started he gave us a bit of history and explained the steps. Then he started to take off his trousers which revield a pair of shiney satin white Tai Chi pants. The basic form is 24 steps, we learned 5 of them in an hour. It was so good to do and pretty hard. He kept saying pusshhh the baaalllll, puusshh the baaallllll. There were no balls!!!!
The passing Chinese thought it hilarious and kept taking photos of us doing it.

After a shower we met up with Rachel and all went for breakfast and the sun had his hat on and he was coming out to play. It was red hot. Proper sunglasses and T-shirt weather. The sun burnt of alot of the mist and fog that we had yesterday so the surrounding mountains looked incredible.

Wandered round and me and John got bartering with a fella for a Mahjong set. Which we got for half the price.

Whilst I'm showing off me bargining skills, we went down to the river and got a boat (I say a boat it was entirely made from Bamboo apart from a metal frame used as a sun sheild) for 15 Yuan each when she started of at 60. She started papping her sel when we were walking towards the other boat peddlers, she kept tutting and saying 'no money, no money' when she agreed the fare.

We were on the boat just over an hour and it took us down the river away from the town. It was dead peaceful and quiet. We saw the Cormarant fishermen and young lads fishing from single man boats with rod and line. We saw ladies washing their clothes in the river. Oxes drinking from the river. All these river boats that people lived on. It was brilliant.

Went for a coffee and had a bash at Mahjong, now thats a pretty tough game to understand. John had played it before and tried to teach us. Its nothing like the Mahjong on the PC when you just match up the tiles. This is hardcore Mahjong.

Got me laundry back in one piece, that Manuel must work canny hard!

Went for some dinner and then drinks then when we came back to Fawlty Towers in the early hours of the morning the buildings in front of the hotel had gone. Totally knocked down. I thought for one second that I was in an episode of Fawlty Towers, kept expecting Manuel to come running in saying ' Mr Fawlty, Mr Fawlty, where is the hotel, it no there anymore'

Crazy Stuff!!!!!

DAY 17 - 04-02-2009 YANGSHOU

2009-02-05T00:09:00.000-08:00

Didnt get up till 1:00pm because of last nights antics. Got a leeetle bit drunk!! Played fuuzball with a chinese girls and got battered of her.

Heather went out early in the morning with Sophie. John and Rachel haggling in the street markets.

The town really is beautiful, theres loads and loads and loads of little tiny winding streets and feels a little bit like a mediteranian town atmosphere.

Met up with Heather and Sophie and I had breakfast of fried rice and beef. Very Nice.

Saw this fella sitting on a bench dressed in black traditional chinese atire with a long thin mustache like you see in them Kung Fu films. In front of him he had a long bamboo cane with two Cormarants sitting on each end.

Heather had read that they use Cormarants to catch fish.

They train them from birth to fish for them. They put these rings round their necks so that they cant swollow the fish. Then when the Chinese fisherman calls them back to the boat (which is litterally a few long banboo canes lashed together) they pull the fish out of their mouths. Apparently they let them eat the seventh fish otherwise the birds wouldnt work for them!

Strange - in England fishermen are allowed to kill Cormarants as the destroy fish stock.

Walked around for hours round the little streets looking at all the wares on offer. Heather got this silk double sided dressing gown.
Then we walked along the riverbank and saw the cormarant fishermen actually using the birds to fish - it was mint!

The scenery here is breathtaking - never seen a landscape like it in my whole life. Keep thinking its not real or I'm in The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings or something.

John, Rachel, Clare, Russ, Sophie, Heather and me went for food in a resaurant full of Chinese people eating (good sign) half way through the meal the place started stinking of sewers, so we ate up quickly and left.

Also they had Dog on the menu.

Saw a mother holding her baby, squatting so that baby could empty his bowels on the street - nice!!

Fawlty Tower's has a laundry service - so gonna ask Manuel to wash me dudds for me tomorrow.

PHOTO OF THE MADONNA BRA MOUNTAINS

2009-02-05T00:00:00.000-08:00

These are them!!! the place is covered in mountains like these.

YANGSHOU

2009-02-04T23:46:00.000-08:00

This town is well cool. Its set in the countryside with these random crops of mountains that are really high but quite small!!!! If that makes sense! The only way I can think to describe it is that they are similar to loads of Madonna's pointy bra's sticky up from the ground. Really steep sides that you'd have to rock climb up and miles high.

I cant work out how they were formed, usually a river/stream/glacier carves out a valley leaving mountains but these are all over the place.

They are covered in tree's all the way to the peaks so look like massive green Madonna Bra's randomly set all over the place!!!

Any idea's how they were formed? Leg's will probably know?

I'll try put a photo on at some point. The computers here are teediously, tediously, teadilously slow and not many of them about. USB connections dont seem to work either. But I'll try and get some on.

Managed to get this random one on of some little chinese ladies on a boat.

DAY 16 - 03-02-2009 TRAIN STILL AND FINALLY YANGSHOU

2009-02-04T02:04:00.000-08:00

The train has slowed down by 2 hours!!!! We set off yesterday at 4pm and due to get in at 6pm today!! that makes 26 hours!!!!!!!!!

We keep stopping to let other trains pass in the line - Ling says it to allow more important trains pass quicker - 'we're only human's remember'

The countryside has changed - Limestones hills nad a lot of farm land - looks like rice fields.

Hoping ipod has enough juice to take me to Yangshuo!!!!!

The last few hours on the train dragged abit. everyone got their gear sorted and just sat waiting to get off.

Came close to getting a DVT from the lack of movement.

Once off the train we were ushered onto a bus, another 2 hours on public transport to Yangshou. We were the lucky ones as we managed to get there first and actually get some seats. The Chinese who came after us were in the aisle but its illegal to have satnding passengers so they sat down in the aisle on them little stools you used to have as a bairn so you could reach the toilet.

Two hours later (two hours of Mr Bean on the bus) we got to Yangshou and checked into, wait for it . . . . . . . .

. . . Fawlty Towers, no word of a lie we are staying in Fawlty Towers and theres even a little Chinese fella called Manuel. ha ha ha

And some of the signs are written wrong like in the opening credits.

SHANGHAI

2009-02-04T01:55:00.001-08:00

At first glance, from where we stayed, Shanghai is a bit of a mixed bag. There is a lot of building work going on. There are massive bright and shiney skyscrapers juxtaposed bewteen delapatated, crusty, rundown buildings.

The second glance unveils one of the most exciting cities in the world. Theres so much going on. Flashy illuminated streets packed with posh, highbrow shops dotted with the street sellers trying to off load fake handbags, watches and dee vee dee's.

Old traditional streets packed full of street markets, street food and of course our dear friends the dee vee dee fella's. Clothes are hung out over the street to dry by the local inhabitants of the more humble dwellings.

All these streets are choka block with people. Chinese tourists taking photos of anything that flashes, Chinese buisness men dashing from building to building frowning at the tourists for taking pictures of their work place. The very occational westerner who stands out like a pastey sore thumb, who are usually surrounded by 2-3 of the little fake goods fella's "Bags, Watches, you buy, good price, dee vee dee's"

Shanghai is a fantastic place to be in. All you could want from a modern Chinese city.